- 5 years ago
Ah, as a long-time lurker but new poster, I wanted to get some input from you ladies. Hang in with me here, this will be a long one!
Boyfriend and I started talking very seriously about getting engaged this past December. We talked about engagement length, when we might like to have the wedding, and life situations (finances, schooling, living arrangements, etc) that would need to be worked out. I’m currently a junior in college while he works full time and is working on additional professional certifications.
The original conclusion we came to is that we would like a longer engagement (as I am a super-planner, and want enough time to really think about details and enjoy the planning) of around 2 years, with us getting married summer of 2015 while I took a year off before grad school to work (I’ll be graduating college in 2014). We would then both move to whatever location I chose for grad school (he’s lucky in that he can get a job pretty much anywhere). We looked at rings, and he purchased one in February.
Then comes a game changer. I recently found out that my current university has a combined bachelors and masters program in the exact field I want to go into. That means I can complete all the classes for both my bachelors and masters by summer 2015. After classes are completed, I would then be required to do a 4-6 month internship before I would get my degree. Because it is a special program, no financial aid is offered and I would be required to pay full tuition.
So now I’m trying to decide if we should still plan on getting married in 2015 right after I’m done with classes, or shoot for 2016, so that we would have time to save up some more money and possibly have me be settled professionally. My parents have already made it clear that they will be giving a generous amount for the wedding, but I worry that with the wedding both my mom and I are envisioning might go a tad over it (mostly because we have a large family and good hospitality/catering is expensive!) I’m hoping to pay for grad school without taking out anymore student loans, so money would definitely be tight right after classes end.
Boyfriend really wants to get engaged soon, and we both see it as a higher level of commitment rather than a declaration of an impending wedding. However, long engagements are definitely not the norm in my family so I’m hesitent to go any longer than 2.5 years, especially since we’ve only been dating for two years. He says it’s ultimately my decision though.
So what would you do in my shoes? Get engaged soon and marry in 2015, knowing I’d have to be really careful with the budget? Wait to get engaged and push the wedding to 2016? Or say heck with what people will think and get engaged soon but still wait until 2016?
There are lots of additional details and factors that go into it, but I’ve already written a novel so I think it’s best I stop 🙂