- 7 years ago
The last time I posted, I explained how my Fiance, despite proposing to me, has literally no desire to discuss planning our wedding. You can read the thread here.
So, I talked to him. Actually, I sort of broke down. I told him that I was tired of people asking me about the wedding, and that I was starting to feel like one of those young people who got engaged for attention, because we haven’t made any progress. I told him that the idea of this wedding has become sort of a source of embarrasment for me, because it doesn’t look like it’s actuallly going to happen, and that our friends don’t take us seriously. I said that in order to appease him, I felt like I was going to have to eventually break down and be completely unceremonious about the whole thing, and simply sign the papers, and be done with it. Finally, I said I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to get married at all, because it’s all so stressful, and I’m tired of worrying about it, and that in the end, it’s a silly piece of paper that isn’t going to change my feelings for him.
At this point, he started getting upset, and told me that he’s “been trying to wait until he graduates and gets a really good job so he can pay for all the s*** I want” Which was the first time he’s ever even mentioned that. Actually, until that discussion, the hypothetical timeframe was this fall.
I told him that it’s not about all the s***, because I don’t care or even want it, and that he’d know that if he would actually talk to me about it. I told him that it’s about the union, the merging of family, and that considering our parents haven’t ever met, it is important for me to make sure that happens. I told him that ideally, we’d have a simple ceremony, barbecue, and go bowling or something. Casual and fun. Not stuffy. He liked that.
Finally, I told him the most important thing to me was the ability to talk to him about it (or anything!) which I had felt like I couldn’t do.
He seems to have gotten it, and has brought it up “the wedding” several times since, but we haven’t really discussed it. Honestly, I’m just sort of tired of thinking about it. Obsessing over wedding planning drama has instilled in me a permanant love of wedding porn, but otherwise… I’m feeling burnt out.
So now what?! I feel like it’s a role reversal.