(Closed) Planning for a Baby – Worries.

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Sad 🙁  Do you have other family members near you?  Do you guys Skype while he’s gone?  That might help a little.

Post # 5
803 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

a good group of girls for you to talk to about your worries would be the married-to-a-military-man girls.  my best friend is married to a wonderful man in the navy and this coming year he will be deployed for 12 months, and its so difficult for her to think about babies for the exact same reason.  that group of women woudl be a wonderful group to get advice, ideas and support from.

Post # 7
747 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

i’m sorry, that’s a tough one=( it sounds like you have a fairly flexible work schedule, so that is definitely a plus! do you think you will continue to work outside the home once you start a family?

i feel the need to preface the next statement with the fact that i do not have my own children yet, but i am a nanny and have done a lot of travel with kids. a lot of people will disagree with me on this one, but i think babies are really portable and easy to travel with! they don’t need as much stuff as people think. you can bring your little one to spend time with your dh whenever you have time. until they are in school, they’re pretty flexible. maybe by then, dh will have other career goals.

Post # 9
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

It’s not quite the same, but for about 5-6 months every year my husband works absolutely crazy hours.  It will (eventually) change, but for the next few years anyway he’s pretty much stuck working 12-14 hour days 6-7 days a week between May and November.  I miss him during the summer, but having Addie with me this summer actually made me a lot less lonely.  🙂 

In our case, we had our first baby in June, right after he started his long work hours.  He was able to take off the first couple weeks after birth to spend with the baby and me, but then he went right back to long days, and he was even working the night shift, which made it much harder.  We’ve decided that we will plan our next child for late fall/winter so he will be able to spend more time with us when the baby is newborn (when I’ll need the most help).  Pregnancy wasn’t a walk in the park for me, and it won’t be easy to be taking care of our daughter and being pregnant at the same time, but I would much rather have him around AFTER the baby is born.

Also, I agree with Mrs.EtoBe.  Babies are good travelers; we’ve done several weekend trips since Addie was born and all of them went off really well.  As long as we keep Addie’s routine the same and have a couple of her security items with us, she adjusts better to travel than I do!

Post # 11
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@Linz1231:  Good luck!  I think most babies are very adaptable; what they need most is love and attention, and the rest of the details don’t matter nearly as much.  🙂

Post # 12
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

what does he do? (you obviously don’t have to share specifics, but i’m just really curious)

does he travel around for 6 months, or is he mostly in one place? since you can work from home, maybe you could go with him and work remotely? you wouldn’t be able to do that once your kids are school-aged though.

sorry i have no real advice — that sounds so difficult!

Post # 14
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

@Linz1231:  I totally understand what you are going through.  My husband used to play in the NFL.  To give you an example I quit my job on Wall Street and moved from NY to Nashville to be with him and THREE WEEKS after I got here he got traded to another team.  Bad times to say the least. 

Will your husband likely move up in the organization?  Is it possible that within the next few years he would be able to make enough money so that you wouldn’t have to work?  Or you could at least take a few years off from working.  That way at least when the baby is really young you have the flexability to travel with him.  I think if I were in your situation it would be my preference to wait until that was a possibility.  It will be really hard on you to shoulder the responsibilty of essentially single parenthood and it will be really hard on him to miss seeing his child grow up.

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