(Closed) Planning is so stressful

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Jennlee:  I think you need an outlet. I don’t really care about a lot of the details that go into wedding planning which sucks. I’m a planner and a project manager by trade, but constructing a building or a vehicle is MUCH different than planning a wedding. 

So when I’m posed with “do you like gold napkins or cream napkins?” or “chivari chairs or plain chairs?” I just want to literally walk away and say “You pick!” lol 

But I know that there are a lot of people that will want to know what I want to do so I have to be decisive. Know that you must be decisive, this is your new reality with wedding planning. No matter who you ask, they MIGHT give you their opinion (don’t count on it) but they will end their statement with “but it’s your choice” and trust me, that doens’t make you feel any better.

So, get a feel for the basic things that you like. A theme, or no theme (I don’t have one. It’s just a frickin wedding), colors, long or short dresses. Simple things. If the other things don’t matter to you, stick with that and don’t let people convince you that those teeny details really matter when they normally don’t. (For me, it’s things like aisle runners and flowers on the end of each row of chairs at the ceremony. We’re standing for 30 minutes to get married then everyone is shuffling out of the room. I don’t care if there’s a runner or not or flowers. Added expense for something I don’t want to deal with late – like what the heck do you do with a runner after the cerem… I’m sorry, I digress).

And yes, I have ONE person who will always suggest something different than what I decide and that is my mother. Fortunately, I’m not like most bees on here who have aunts, cousins, Future Mother-In-Law, etc all giving me their 2 cents on what THEY like – I just have my mom. My Fiance helps me with dealing with this. He told me to just stick with what I like and the decisions that I make. It’s my day, not my moms. So in your case, it’s YOUR day, not (fill in the blank with the over-opinionated person in your life). 

So once you make a decision, just stick with it. Thank them for their opinions, but when asked “so what do you want?” just repeat what you said before. If they have a problem with it, they will find a way to deal with it. 

Now, the outlet. I have distance running. When I don’t want to think about favors, flowers, or appetizers, I lace up and go for a run… or I catch up with TV. Pick something that allows you to zone out and mentally, rest. You will need it to maintain balance. 

Good luck! 

Post # 4
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Jennlee:  Honestly I am the same way as you and unfortunately I have no great advice for you! I never figured any way out. I started to have really bad anxiety! I mean about a week ago I spent all thursday having anxiety. I felt like I couldn’t breath and I thought I was dying lol. BUT! Now that I have all of the big things taken care of I feel sooo much better and relaxed. So hang in there and it will get better! And you ARE deserving of everything. Everyone should get that one special day 🙂

Post # 5
Member
2718 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

It’s not always fun planning. If you need help though, maybe look into a wedding planner?

As for the reception venue, that should have been clearly stated before you agreed to use the facility. I would look for a different place, but that’s a lot of money for me to just throw at a membership fee that I may or may not use.

Post # 6
Hostess
8576 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

That’s alot for a membership.

One of the places we’re visiting on our honeymoon [Sybaris] requires you to buy a membership, the membership is a simple $35, or free with certain packages.

I’m renting my venue for 2 nights, 3 days [7 suite bed & breakfast, with 2 cottages] for a total of about $2400. I would NEVER pay an extra $1000 for “membership”.

I would look elsewhere. Who knows what else they will throw at you while you plan.

 

Post # 7
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think a wedding planner helped to calm my nerves.  Our venue is out of state and provides a coordinator, but you don’t go on her radar until a month or two out.  We needed to get stuff rollin so we hired a by the hour coordinator, mostly to bounce ideas off of and to get a clear vision of what we wanted.  That made things easier, but I’m with you, planning is stressful but also so exciting when you step back and start to get a visual of what you’re creating.

 

Good luck!

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