(Closed) Planning my own bachelorette? :(

posted 5 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
2389 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m sorry that she’s behaving like that, but it’s really gauche to plan a party in your honor for yourself.

Post # 4
9115 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

That sucks, but planning a bachelorette party isn’t a requirement by any stretch of the imagination.  Probably not the advice you want to hear, but it’s just a party. Don’t let your friendship die just because of that.

Post # 6
2490 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I will probably end up planning mine (if I have one)… it makes more sense because not all of my friends aren’t friends with each other.

Think of it this way, if you plan your own, you can make sure it’s extra fun! 🙂

Post # 7
104 posts
Blushing bee

I didn’t want a big tada and planned my own getaway/bachelorette party with the girls. It doesn’t really bother me because I know they’ll fill in the blanks, etc. once we get there. Plus, I like knowing that it’s something I’ll enjoy. 

Look at it this way…you won’t be disappointed by what you end up doing because you get to plan it.

Post # 8
8576 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Around here, the only responsibilities bridesmaids & MOH’s have are showing up & getting the attire.

Everything else is optional.

It would be lovely for our bms/MOH to plan our parties, but sometimes it doesn’t happen that way.

I’m sorry you have to plan it by yourself.. have you discussed it with your other bms? Perhaps they would be interested in helping/planning. Or even aunts, sisters, or other close friends.

Post # 9
3688 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

So you planned your own shower too?

Post # 10
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2001

Well at least you can still have a bachelorette party and it can be just the way you want it. Just have fun with your ladies and celebrate. I’m sure they will make it about you once they get there 🙂

Post # 11
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Weetzie:  honestly, I’m planning mine in the sense that I will be coming up with the game plan for the night. The bridesmaids were all in favor of having one, but we’re doing it in my hometown and all the girls live all over the place, and some of my hometown friends wanted to be invited, and since none of my bridesmaids live in my hometown or really know what there is to do or where anything is, it just makes the most sense for me to come up with the overall agenda. I had originally said I didn’t even care if we had one, but everyone insisted but then was asking 100 questions about where things were and how much did it cost, etc. so we all agreed on a price per person for the night and I came up with a schedule. 

Post # 13
1416 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I planned mine myself. I insisted upon it. If you want something done right, do it yourself, lol. Well, I told my Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man exactly what I wanted to do and they booked things (actually, my mom called in the end and booked things because my sister was still in college and my friend’s dad had just died). They insisted on making the actual bookings and telling people about the party as if it were a surprise because they’re silly like that, but I totally planned it and would have NO qualms about completely planning my own bachelorette and telling people so. 

Post # 14
905 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I love my Maid/Matron of Honor, she’s my best friend in the world. She’s also absolutely useless when it comes to planning things. I once had to arrange transportation for her at a mutual friend’s wedding in which I was Maid/Matron of Honor because she’s so scattered. I love her to pieces, though! But, because I know this, I’m just planning my bachelorette party myself with input from my girls. I know what I want to do and what our budgets are. Take a deep breath, and try to look on the bright side: you’ll get EXACTLY what you want if you plan it yourself. Good luck!

Post # 15
130 posts
Blushing bee

I would look planning your own bachelorette party as a blessing in disguise.

Although you have to sort out the details yourself, at least you can go and not be on edge that someone will show up with a penis cake or exotic male stripper. 🙂

I know its a little awkward to plan a party for yourself, and maybe the party won’t be as centered on the bride-to-be as it should be, but don’t let that get you down. By planning your own party, you can make sure it is exactly what you wanted – a night out with the gals, with some fun games and relaxing times. And while I know you would have liked it to be a surprise, surprises come with unexpected penis cakes. You can always spice it up by asking each of the four girls to come with a bachelorette game – that will add a little creativity and surprise for you.

And lastly, don’t let tension with your Maid/Matron of Honor stress you out. I know she hasn’t been very supportive, but perhaps she has stuff going on in her personal life, or maybe she is a little jealous, or there is some other reason. Whatever the case may be, don’t let one person ruin such a special time in your life. In fact, if you are willing to just patch it up, consider extending an olive branch instead of blocking her out. It will save you a lot of time and energy being mad at her, and it will do you a lot of good.


Best of luck – hope you have a wonderful bachelorette party! Its in your control now! WOO!

Post # 16
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I ended up planning mine. One of my Maid/Matron of Honor lives in a different state, so she doesn’t know where to go or what to plan, and my other Maid/Matron of Honor is terrible at planning. We had a conversation about it where she came up with 10 different things to do that weren’t near each other with no way to transport our party of 15 ladies =) She asked for help because I’m just better at planning things. I picked out and made reservations for the restaurant, lounge, and hotel, and I’ll let them send out the invites and handle the rest. I’m happy that I know the evening will go smoothly and we’ll have a ton of fun.

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