(Closed) Planning my own bridal shower….

posted 10 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
3521 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

1) Anyone can throw the shower. It is, however, in poor taste for the bride to host her own because you’re basically asking your guests for gifts in the most direct way possible.

2) Yes. Showers are optional. You won’t die if you don’t have one–don’t worry! No one is obligated to throw one.

3) See above.

Post # 4
4136 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

someone else needs to host it. i think it’s fine if you help with the planning, but someone else’s name needs to be on the invite. you can just have wine and desserts or even a potluck at someone’s house – it doesn’t need to be an expensive affair.

Post # 5
1963 posts
Buzzing bee

Where is the rest of your bridal party?

Post # 6
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

1) No one is owed a shower and no one is required to give you one.  If someone wants to throw you one, they will. 

2) YES!

3) Your friends are right.  It is rude to throw a party in your own honor let alone a gift giving party. 

Post # 7
250 posts
Helper bee

1.  She can throw you a shower if she wants but, no, she doesn’t have to.

2.  Yes it is very rude to ask people to pay for your shower.

3.  Yes.  If she decides on her own to throw you a shower, don’t be greedy and take what she can afford.

No, you cannot throw your own shower without looking greedy.  If no one is going to throw you a shower then you just won’t have one.  Trust me, there are worse things that can happen in life than not getting lots of gifts.

Post # 9
1963 posts
Buzzing bee

I asked because your Maid/Matron of Honor may find her job much easier if she involves the bridal party.  You should discuss these things with her in a non-threatening manner.  Give her some websites and the contact info for the rest of your party and hope for the best.  Maybe encourage your mom to nudge her in the right direction.  PS 50 people is a lot for a shower and you have to know what the maids feel comfy spending.  I took on my best friends shower and thankfully I have some financial security but it was expensive and I was a lil put off at the time (now I look back at the great memories but that’s today).

Post # 10
1995 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I had a similar situation.  Do not plan your own shower!  I thought I would have to plan my own but then gave us thinking I would just go without.  I had family and friends asking ME when and where it would be months before hand and I just had to say I didn’t know.  In the end it was thrown together at the last minute combined withour mani/pedi appointment.  We had it at the day spa which was nice but opening presents + wedding mani = not good idea.  I advise speaking to your mother or other bridesmaids telling them people have asked and you need details.  Say it’s fine if I don’t have one but if you’re planning even a little something tell me very soon!

Post # 11
13094 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

1. Anyone (not necessarily your Maid/Matron of Honor or bridal party) can throw you a shower but you should not be planning you own (or asking for one, IMO).  It’s just rude to throw your own gift giving party in your honor.

2. Yes – it is rude.  If they want to throw you a shower, they will.  And it will be entirely up to them what they want to spend if they do choose to throw you one.

3. 50 people is a ton of people for a shower and, like above, if someone does decide to throw you a shower they dictate the budget and I’d venture to bet few people in your life would have the money to budget for a 50 person shower.

Post # 12
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

What about your mom? Could she help your sister? I’m sorry, but you can’t throw your own. It would offend your guests. If anything, express how important it is to you to your sister and explain that it doesn’t need to cost much. All the BM’s can bring a dish, snack, or drinks and it can be very low-key.

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