(Closed) Planning my wedding has made me realize how few friends I have :(

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@july142013: I understand completely. My bridesmaids are my two SIL’s as I’m not as close to anyone anymore. I am inviting a few people that I would consider work friends, but I don’t generally hang out with anyone or consider anyone besides my Fiance my best friend.

It’s a little sad to think about sometimes, but all of my old good friends and I have just lost touch, even though we all still live within 1 hour of each other.

And honestly, my only other true best friend was my mother who passed away last year.

Post # 33
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I just want to say that you don’t need a ton of people to make a bachelorette party fun. I threw a bachelorette party for my best friend, even though it was only three of us (bride included). We all live really far away, so it was almost impossible to get people together. It ended up being an awesome night — we same a show, embarrassed her on stage, and made it pretty much an extra raucous girls’ night out.

It’s not about how many friends you have, it’s about the quality of people. Even if you can’t have a “bachelorette party” I think you need to do something fun and a little wild to celebrate … and since your fiance is your best friend, why don’t you plan something with him? Something adventurous — zip lines or skydiving or rock climbing or an adventure race.

There’s nothing wrong with your fiance being your best friend — and eventually you’re going to start making friends together.

Post # 35
Member
1459 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

I think it must be pretty normal for one person in the relationship to have more friends 🙂

 

Sometimes it feels like BF knows just about everyone in Great Britain, but that’s just how he is. At the same time I think I’m closer to my 3 best friends than he is to most anyone he knows, I also think I’m closer to my mum and dad than he is.

 

I shouldn’t worry about trying to outdo or outnumber your FI’s bachelor party – my plan for a hen do (if I’m ever proposed to lol) is to go to a spa overnight and really relax with the four people mentioned above. Maybe you could do something like that?

Post # 36
Member
204 posts
Helper bee

Your not alone hunni

Post # 37
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@july142013: 

 

This is a realiation you made on your own. That is awesome ! Don’t feel bad.

I was in the same boat a couple of years ago. So, I joined several MeetUp’s and became closer friends with my SO’s guy friends wives/partners. 

Also, always remember that quantity does not make good friends, it is the quality. =) 

Post # 39
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@july142013:  I will say this first, I believe friends are overrated. Not all friends. Those you’ve known your whole life and feel like they are family are real friends and you’re lucky if you’ve got ’em. I don’t.

 

But having a lot of friends doesn’t always mean you’ve got QUALITY friends. As cliche as this is, I’d rather be alone than have superficial friendships. Been there, did that. No thanks!

 

I am just like you. Barely any friends. My best friend is my hubby to be of course. My Maid/Matron of Honor is my first cousin. Friends at the wedding will be a co-worker and a good friend I made because she’s married to my man’s BFF. The rest are friends of family.

 

I feel the same as you.. Sad sometimes when I am plannig my wedding alone. It would be nice to have some more support but I have all the love and support I need from my family and from my man. I feel blessed! And you should too!

Post # 40
Member
3038 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You’re not alone. I’ve always just had a few close friends, just one or two. When I came to Canada in 2007, I got more friends through my Fiance and the climbing community that we meet in. However, those friends just disappeared as soon as he got a back injury that prevented him from climbing. It was really sad at the time, but we’ve come to the realization that we’re actually happier now then what we were then – we were just stretching so thin to keep up with them all.

 

Now, our wedding will be a small affair – around 30 people. Some days it makes me a little sad, thinking that we should have “more to show for it”. On the other hand, I’m getting married to my best friend – it will be an awesome day no matter what!

Post # 41
Member
407 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

ah, it can be hard!  Even with friends, I don’t want to drive them nuts with wedding talk all the time.  They’re fun people, but i know that it would send them over the edge.  Thats why I’m on here.  Plus, I have friends but wow are few of them girls.  Come on, to fill out my bridal party I had to run with it, and two of them are guys.  Girls though, nope.  I play video games, am into pop culture, and spend more time with books than people.  It doesn’t usually bother me, but I have my moments. 

Look at this as an opportunity though.  There is a very real chance that you’re an introvert.  It may be possible that there are people around you that you enjoy talking to, but haven’t gotten to know because they are also introverts.  Guess what, we’re really, REALLY bad at picking up the phone.  I have phone anxiety to the point that I keep the pore thing on silent all the time.  This might be a good time to practice making a call every now and them and trying something like, “hey, how about coffee.”

Seriousely, maintaining friendships is even HARDER than dating for me.  My guy, he’ll be there, he’s in the other room.  Friends, good god, I might have to use the phone!

Having family at your wedding though, thats priceless.  Having them is a blessing, even when they drive you nuts.

Post # 42
Member
2902 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I can sympathise. In the past 10 years I have lived in Perth, Florida, London, Sydney, Brisbane and now Canada. I feel like I have left good friends behind in all of those places but they aren’t best friends so I’m not inviting them to my wedding. That leaves me with my old friends from home who I still love very much but they are now very few. If I stayed in one place I would have lots of friends but now I only have a handful 🙁 Makes me feel a bit lonely.

Post # 43
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m in the same boat, hardly any frienDs on my sIDE coming to the wedding but my fiancé has loads. Also to make matters even worse the one of the two  girls I had asked to be bridesmaid has turned  round and said I’m stressing her out causing her problems and tears and has now pulled out of my wedding 6 weeks before the day! So now I haveleven one more less and a lot of hassle trying to get money back on dresses, shoes jewelley and deposits for hair and beauty! 

i think weddings bring out the worst in people and people who you thought where really good friends, you quickly realise arnt at all. 

Post # 44
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Oh, I definitely know how you feel. I am probably going to have about 12 of my family members compared to his 50. And only about 10 of my own friends. Definitely sucks. 

Post # 45
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I believe you can count true friends on one hand. Some are lucky to have more. i only have 20 people in total for my how whole wedding, 3 of those are my friends, one is my mom. No other friends or family. I am happy to keep it small with people I truly care about. 

 

An idea you could do instead of worrying about a hen party, you could book a nice spa weekend to yourself, stay in a nice hotel and get pampered , watch your favourite film, do your nails, read a book but anything to relax and treat yourself. 

 

Alone time or last weekend of being single can be just as fun doing things you like 

Post # 46
Member
502 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

View original reply
@starsr:  That sounds very similar to what we are doing! Do you mind me asking what type of wedding you are having with 20 people? We are doing a small garden ceremony and dinner at a restaurant. We also will have approx 20-30 people there.

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