(Closed) Planning my wedding has made me realize how few friends I have :(

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 47
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

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@Vikstar:  I’m glad I’m not the only one ๐Ÿ™‚

Yes, ours is very similar – garden ceremony overlooking the water and dinner on the restaurant patio (we didn’t want either of the big spaces they usually use for weddings). It’s all at the same heritage-building-turned-restaurant. Fiance and I and our families aren’t into dancing, so we’re not having a dance floor. Weddingbee made me worried that people would get bored, but we have family dinners where we sit and talk for hours, so I don’t see why this should be any different.

I can’t wait for it ๐Ÿ™‚ And yours is so close, yay!

Post # 48
Member
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I am kinda in the same boat.  I have “friends” but they are more like aquaintances.  Not true friends.  My wedding party is made up of mostly family and one friend.  I think my family in my wedding party will throw my bachelorette party, but it will just be us.  My shower will be family and old co-workers (possibly).  There are things for the wedding I want to do, and want opinions on, but I don’t really have too many people to talk to about it.  It stinks at times.  You def are not the only one.

Post # 49
Member
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

my other half and i are exactly the same. I have 4 really close friends coming thats it. my other half has 3 close friends coming but what we have noticed recently is the bigger family you have ive noticed people seem to have less friends. my other half and and lots of siblings so wen we hop to the pub or cinema, its with them. dont get down. we have 70 pple coming and i think it would be perfect.x

Post # 50
Member
722 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

ditto to it all Undecided

Post # 51
Member
1293 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

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@karineh:  That is so true. I would take quality friendships over a large quantity of acquaintances any day. I have about 5 close female friends, but I know I can always count on them. My Fiance and I are almost always together and our friend group consists mostly of couples. We are having a small wedding (50 people) but we are happy about that…It’s true to us as a couple.

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@july142013:  You are so lucky to marry your best friend…I’m doing the same. If it really troubles you though, you should look into pursuing some of your hobbies sans Fiance so that you can expand your social circle. It won’t be “in time” for the wedding, but there will be lots of other milestones to share with friends ๐Ÿ™‚ Oddly a lot of my friends are guys and my bridal shower has mostly male guests! lol

Post # 52
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Wow I thought I was the only one….my Fiance is also my bestfriend and I have my friend who is also my Maid/Matron of Honor but that’s it. Oops no I lie, I have a male friend who I’ve also known since high school. It’s doesn’t get to me anymore, its been this way for awhile. I just feel lucky for the great few friends that I do have and my wonderful family ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 54
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I completely understand! When doing our invite list it was SO one sided. I have a very small family and a few close friends, while he is just the opposite, huge family and a ton of friends from high school and college.  I am still debating on even having a bachelorette party, especially since my maid of honor lives about 10 hours away. Its nice to know im definitely not the only one coming across this!!!

Post # 55
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I feel this way sometimes…but truthfull I’m such a loner that I’d probably get really bad anxiety and cry if I had to go to a party…I’d end up having fun.  But I doubt it would be worth it lol.

My friends are scattered about (different cities, states, and countries), we’re gonna do a spa day the day before the wedding.  Fiance and his friends (ALL live in the city near where we’re having the wedding). I wanted that for Fiance.  So of course they thought Vegas, Mexico but Fiance nixed that and they’re gonna do a hike and then in the evening all the guys and all the gals are gonna meetup for drinks and billiards. 

Post # 56
Member
2564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Preaching to the choir here, sister – I moved to be with Fiance and it has been totally worth it, but I feel like the decent friends I have would be counted on one hand, and none but maybe 2 I feel particularly close with, and even then they have their own stuff going on and who am I to bother them with wedding stuff?  We are planning to go away and be just us, so there’s not much involved with parties, etc. 

I am almost afraid that when we have our receptions they will be family only as we are both kind of loners, Fiance says that’s what makes it so awesome we found each other, lol.  I trule consider him my best friend.

Post # 57
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee

@july142013:  Don’t feel bad. I am having anxiety about having too many close friends. I don’t want anyone to feel bad that they aren’t in the bridal party. I also don’t want a huge wedding so cutting friends will be hard. I think either way, planning a wedding is difficult.

Post # 58
Member
833 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

My fiance’s list of friends is like 50 and mine is literally like 8 (4 being guests so really only 4 actual friends).  1 lives across the country and 1 lives in a different country so you aren’t alone! I think it’s quality, not quantity!! 

Post # 59
Member
679 posts
Busy bee

It’s nice to know I’m not the only one. I only have really one REAL friend who was my roommate in college. Everyone else is just an aquaintance really. My bf has at least 10 guys he regularly hangs out with, and I feel bad not having that sometimes. When we talk about wedding stuff for the future, he says he wants a bunch of groomsmen, but I’m like… i have no friends to be bridesmaids. My one real friend will be going to school abroad for several years so she may not be around if I get married in the next couple of years ๐Ÿ™ It bothers me to say the least. I have no idea what we would do about a bridal party then… 

 

ETA: When my bf hangs out with his married/coupled friends, I hang out with the wives/gfs. I wouldn’t call them my friends though…

Post # 60
Member
872 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Wow it is like I wrote this! O_O

It took me years to make myself into an island, but then I met my fiance’ and realized having friends is awesome! Then people moved away, we lost contact, or just fell through and now I only have one real friend, but she moved so I almost never see her anymore. 

It is weird to see the guest list and know that I am contributing a very small amount of people. I am contributing to two people on the guest list….TWO! My mom, and the friend that moved away. Everyone else is his family, his friends, and a few of our mutual friends that I am not really friends with they’re either “frenemies” or aquaintences. <_<;; *awkward* 

My Maid/Matron of Honor is someone who didn’t even invite me to her wedding when she was getting married to my fiance’s childhood, and still best friend, and we’d been together at that time for 3 and a half years. And my bridesmaid is someone I’ve only ever met once, and she is my fiance’s sister in law. LOL. But really I wouldn’t want to change who I picked, I am getting to know each girl, and enjoying the ride, and making friends through planning this wedding. 

I know it feels weird and lonely, but you got the wedding bee to supplement your lack of friends! 

Post # 61
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Ugh thank you thank you for this post. I have been serioulsy bummed out the past couple of months because I feel like I have zero friends. Well, that’s not true. I have two friends who both live in  a different state, and other than that I have the sweet girls I work with (but they’re work friends, it’s just different). Other than that I really don’t have anyone! This post has really motivated me to go out and make some friends… I just don’t know where to start. How do you make friends as an adult?! Where do you meet them?

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