(Closed) Planning my wedding ruined weddings for me.

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@mightywombat:  I think it was the whole package and the way it was said. It was a coed “shower” held at a semi-upscale restaurant and the timing was around Happy Hour time and there would be “light appetizers” served. As such, not like your traditional shower, IMO. I thought it read more like a party, like “Yay, we’re excited about our impending arrival and we wanted you to know!” I know baby showers are about showering the parents with gifts, but I was put off by the fact that it was point-blank, “We’re registered at Amazon and Babies R Us!” vs “The presence of your company is present enough. However, for those of you that have asked, we’re registered at Amazon and Babies R Us.” The couple is very well-off so this open invitation for gifts seemed a little unexpected.

 

But anyway, my point is that had I not been all over etiquette books and sites for the wedding, I probably wouldn’t have been all “OMG!”

Post # 18
Member
3081 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Ha I agree that I notices things more now, and am way more critical of etiquette. But I wouldn’t really say it’s ruined it for me….I do just pay a lot more attention to ridiculous things though. 

Post # 19
Member
1271 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@GreenEyedMoon:  OMG, my Fiance has become so snobby throughout this planning process.  haha.  He was Bridesmaid or Best Man in a wedding a couple of weeks ago and was “appalled” at things he would have never known were problematic a year ago.  roflmao

Post # 20
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Eventually this too shall pass. Wink

Post # 21
Member
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I feel the same way!! We went to my husband’s cousin’s wedding this past weekend, and it was beautiful, but I couldn’t help looking at everything that I had already priced, and thinking about how some things were done. UGH, I hope it goes away, I just want to enjoy the wedding for what it is!

Post # 22
Member
4272 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@lilbluebird:  That is too many people at a baby shower….but I don’t like opening gifts in front of people….thats too much attention on me and I don’t like it haha…

Post # 23
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

I think I am a much better wedding guest now and I actually notice more details then I did before. I also notice breeches in etiquette much more now too.

Post # 24
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Nah, weddings aren’t ruined for me, though I tend to have a more “(almost) anything goes” view of them.

Sites like this one and Offbeat Bride have helped me keep my head about what weddings are “supposed” to be, and more than that, have showed me it’s OK if you don’t follow the same old wedding rigamarole. I don’t care all that much about etiquette, either – I follow the obvious rules, but some behavior that triggers pearl-clutching from others doesn’t get much more than an eyeroll from me. If people want to look like asshats that’s no skin off my nose, y’know?

I also think planning has made me more attentive to details in other weddings. Better able to appreciate the hard work that went into everything!

Post # 25
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

another white fg and ivory bride here haha!!

 

It’s actually driving me crazy too but that’s the way it is :p

We don’t have any weddings this year so it actually kind of sucks because now I actually know stuff – before they were all just a blur!! I keep trying to remember details of the last wedding I went to but can’t and it makes me feel bad.

Post # 26
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

(sorry to threadjack, but JCPennys has really cute ivory flowergirl type dresses for ~ 30$, just FYI)

Post # 27
Member
1512 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I already paid attention to wedding details like that, so nothing’s changed for me. I actually find it helpful to go to weddings now because I can see what I do like, and possibly draw inspiration from it.

Post # 28
Member
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I kind of WANT people to let me know where the registry is, especially at baby showers. I’m going to get a gift anyway, I rather buy something the couple needs..My friend insisted on not having a registry and she endd up with 3 portable cradles. If you can’t list it on your invite then where else would you let someone know?

Post # 29
Member
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I kinda think as long as everyone had fun at the wedding it was successful =) Another ivory bride white fg here too!

Post # 30
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

I totally agree!  Weddings are now ruined for me because I’ve become an absolute wedding snob.  I sort of got flamed for a post I made several months ago where I critiqued FI’s cousin’s wedding… but as I can see here, I am not alone in my uncontrollable desire to analyze every minute wedding detail.  I literally dissected each and every second of every wedding I went to after I became engaged.  I can’t help it! 

I notice each element and find myself having conversations in my head about how cool certain ideas are, or how bad of an etiquette faux-pas certain things are.  If anything, it keeps me entertained!

The upside is, everything is a potential idea for me.  If I, as a guest, am uncomfortable in any way, I take notes and promise myself that I will avoid those situations for my guests.  If I enjoy something, I make sure to figure out how to incorporate into my wedding so my guests will be happy.

Post # 31
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think if anything now after reading and seeing a wide variety of weddings and budget on the bee have made me more appreciative of the money, time, and effort that goes into a wedding. I do pay more attention to details that used to past me by earlier. I do think it’s easy to sit in judgement of someone elses days when you don’t know all of the details, and I would think knowing how much goes into it after planning a wedding people might be more forgiving but I guess that isn’t always the case.

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