Planning on not having Brides maid and Groomsmen

posted 3 months ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2018

We chose not to have one, to keep things as simple as possible! It streamlined the planning process and was a tremendous cost savings. No one seemed bummed about our decision since all they had to do was show up and enjoy the night!

Post # 17
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

All you need for your wedding are people willing to sign the marriage certificate. That’s the whole purpose of a best man and maid of honor in the legal sense. If you have those witnesses then you can do whatever you want lol

Post # 18
Member
973 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard

Absolutely nothing wrong with it. I had nobody but my dad on my side and he was a total accident. We didn’t know after he “gave me away” that he was supposed to go sit down in the front row. So he ended up being an accidental bridesmaid. We joke about it all the time 🙂 We definitely saved money that way too and it helped me feel less stressed. I was still a basket case but at least I didn’t have needing to pay for someone else’s hair/makeup/dress/shoes hanging over my head too. 

Post # 19
Member
4289 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

You definitely don’t need have a bridal party if you aren’t into it!

Although I don’t get how everyone says it avoids stress. If having someone as a bridesmaid causes stress then they probably shouldn’t be your friend to begin with. Having bridesmaids hasn’t been and extra stress or hassle during planning for me.

Post # 20
Member
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

We didn’t have a wedding party at all and have no regrets.

Post # 21
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

I’m not having a bridal party either. I’m enjoying it.

Post # 22
Member
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2020 - Summer Camp!

We’re thinking of having his best friend be the officiant, his niece as the flower girl, and our dog as the ring bearer (or maybe we’ll switch their roles, since I trust his niece more with the ring). It’s nice not to worry about gifts, having people standing up there, and choosing between friends. I hope the no-wedding party thing becomes more common!

Post # 23
Member
2829 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

zzar45 :  for me the stress would be about feeling pressure (fully from myself) to make sure they were happy and not asking too much of them, and I also really hate organizing people so the thought of having a handful of women to corral around is a nightmare to me lol 

Post # 24
Member
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2020 - Summer Camp!

zzar45 :  But it can be stressful limiting your party to certain friends and hurting other friends’ feelings. But I agree that you should avoid people that add drama to your wedding party…however, I suppose not including a sibling who causes drama would also cause drama…

Post # 25
Member
5 posts
Newbee

We decided to not go with a wedding party, mainly because we both have a large groups of friends/family and did not want to deal with the drama of deciding who to pick and trying to not offend anyone. So far, everyone we have told has actually loved the idea. I think it’s a silent sigh of relief because being in wedding party is time consuming and can be expensive! I am currently in two wedding parties that make me constantly roll my eyes at the silly drama (which is not what a wedding should be about). Of course it all depends on the person but we’ve been very happy with our decision and those who want to to involved in the wedding planning will be, with or without the bridesmaid/groomsmen title. 

Post # 26
Member
966 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

We didn’t have one, and our friends were grateful to not have to buy special outfits or travel to extra events! Though we still had our closest friends get ready with us, and did have some low-key weekend hangouts that were sort-of bachelor/bachelorette-like. It was the best of both worlds. Plus we were all around 30 and had been in plenty wedding parties so everyone had already had the experience.

Post # 27
Member
3110 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

We didn’t have a bridal party or ring bearer or flower girl. We didn’t want extra people to coordinate. Loved every second of peace it gave us! 

Post # 28
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2019 - City, State

sierrameadow :  you said it! I also chose not to have bridesmaids for the same reasons! Our venue is two and a half hours away. I didnt want anyone to feel stress about HAVING to go, buy dresses, etc. I want everyone to enjoy it without stress. My sisters and best friends will still go dress shopping with me, attend a bachelorette get together, and my sisters will help me get ready on my wedding day. ❤ 

Post # 29
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

Question for those who did not have any bridesmaids/MOH, what did you do with your bouquet during the ceremony? Did you just keep holding it or did you place it somewhere? If so, where? In the wedding videos I’ve watched, one of the bridesmaids or the Maid/Matron of Honor typically held the bride’s bouquet during the ceremony. 

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