Post # 1
- Wedding: August 2018 - Banquet Hall/Conference Center
For bees that got married out of state (not destination, I just mean in your hometown or something), how many times did you have to fly/travel back and forth as you went about wedding planning? Did you travel for any of the following?
- Venue search (ceremony and reception)
- Engagement photos
- Cake tastings
- Dress shopping
- Any other vendor meetings, like caterer, DJ, photographer, videographer, invitations, etc.
- Any pre-wedding events like showers, bach parties or engagement parties?
- Emergency trips
- Pre-planned trips, like holidays, business trips or special occasions
Seems like it would be easier to just do most of this in one 10 day trip, but that’s probably not possible given work…
Post # 2
I went back/am going back for:
1. Venue Search
2. Dress shopping (to go with my mom) and then dress fittings
3. Design Meeting, Food Tasting (including cake), invitation consultation (We did all of this in a few days while home for Christmas in December with our wedding planner)
4. Engagement Pictures
5. Bridal Shower/Bachelorette (They are planning a weekend to kind of do both at the same time in a way)
6. Wedding (Arriving about 1.5 weeks ahead)
We/I did not travel for any regular vendor meetings, but spoke with lots of vendors on the phone and/or on Skype.
Post # 3
1. Picked a venue we’ve been to for other events, so no visit.
2. Dress shopping/selection, (hopefully will accomplish when home for family wedding) but will likely buy it close to where I live now so fittings can be local.
3. Engagement photos (while home for a family wedding, so no special trip)
3. Catering tasting, flowers, meeting with semi-planner, venue visit (home over Christmas, so no special trip)
4. Bridal Shower, but I’ll go on my own. Bachelorette will happen where I live now.
5. Wedding, arriving a week ahead.
So, I will go home once by myself, if I manage to dress shop when I’m there already, and we will go home twice together but for double-duty reasons at a wedding and holidays. It’s my hometown, and 2 out of 3 bridesmaids live there, so it makes more sense that I travel more. He will probably do his bachelor party in Vegas (not my thing).
Post # 4
We are doing a semi Destination Wedding, it’s the next province over.
Our wedding is in September 2017, we got engaged in April 2016. We will have gone out 4x in total + the wedding (driving). We didn’t *have* to add the last one (aug) on, but our officiant strongly suggested it so whatever.
june 2016, look at venues
sept 2016, meet with main vendors (most had already been booked)
April 2017, engagement pics, catering tasting
August 2017, meet with officiant, get the license and whatnot
Sept 2017, wedding
If you’re organized you can do it pretty easily. We toured all of our venues over 2 days. If you had more time you could add in a few days with caterers, photographers, etc. You can do a lot of your research remotely, check dates, pricing, etc to really narrow it down before you head back.
Post # 5
We live in Korea and are getting married in my hometown on the east coast of the US. We picked our venue based off online reviews, didn’t do engagement photos, won’t be having pre-wedding parties, and we will be buying our outfits here. I had a trip planned to go home for my mother’s birthday 4 months before the wedding anyway, so I’ll visit our venue then just because I’m in town.
I’ve seen a few of your posts and we have some things in common – inter-cultural concerns (we are both first-generation with each of our parents from different countries and us also from different countries, plus living in another country so we’ve got 7 cultures rolled into us) and LDR (from Korea to England for two years). So I say this with love and understanding: girl, you need to slow your roll. If your wedding is already bringing up so many questions and concerns about planning when you don’t consider yourself engaged, you’re way too deep in. You don’t NEED to do everything – we are skipping loads of wedding stuff that we don’t see a point to and we won’t be any less married. Don’t have a photographer booked in time for engagement photos? Have a friend take them if you want them so badly, or find a student photographer. Worried about having enough time off to fly home for wedding stuff? Either drop some stuff, rely on the Internet, or see what you can shift to doing where you live now. Dream vendor is already booked 12 months out? Find another one. It’s not life or death – you’ll be just as married if you have your third choice caterer. This your and your fiancés wedding – let him take the reins, too, even if it means you’ll be missing out on some things you had envisioned. Enjoy your relationship and tackle wedding problems as they come. That will be much less stressful and enjoyable than anticipating problems and micromanaging everything.
Post # 6
Our wedding was in the same area that we live in, but a friend of mine fits the bill – she lives in another state but had her wedding here.
She flew back for their venue search (just the weekend), then she flew back a few months later for her dad’s 60th birthday (she was here for about 5 days; she went dress shopping and had a few vendor appointments – celebrant, florist and photographer). She flew back a few months later for her brother’s birthday and did a few wedding-related things but nothing major (I think from memory this is when she had her dress altered and did their cake tasting). The month before the wedding, she flew back (just for the weekend) for her shower and bachelorette party, which were held on the same day. Then she flew back the week of the wedding. To my knowledge, these are the only times she flew back.
They did their engagement photos in the city where they currently live, so didn’t use the same photographer that they did for the wedding (they were engaged for almost a year before choosing a venue/date and had their photos within a few weeks of getting engaged). She ordered her invitations online, and arranged other vendors via email. They didn’t have an engagement party, although their immediate families did fly to their city the weekend after they got engaged to celebrate.
Post # 7
I got married 1200 miles away in my hometown, we were engaged for 11 months, and we made 2 trips there (one of the trips was because I was a bridesmaid in another friend’s wedding). We did the rest of the planning online. 🙂
Post # 8
- Wedding: August 2018 - Banquet Hall/Conference Center
Thanks everyone, looks like it’s pretty manageable in a few trips that you can roll into already pre-planned family visits. 🙂
Hey, just wanted to reach out and say thank you for your considerate note. I read every word of it and am taking it all in, so I really appreciate you sharing your intercultural similarities and words of advice. Yeah, I’ll tone it down. There’s just not a lot of people in real life that I can ask about this stuff, so I tend to post a lot of things on here. Rest be assured though, I don’t bother my SO with most of this haha – I totally understand how that could get really overwhelming for a couple at this stage. It’s really just so I get an understanding of what all the options are and how people generally go about planning their relationships, weddings and marriages. Plus, my mom asks me this stuff (she’s a super planner, that’s how I became one too I guess) about how people ‘generally’ do it and I didn’t know the answer so hence I researched. Asking about things beforehand is my way of not being overwhelmed when it comes time to actually plan. I think I know enough now, though, so I’ll probably be posting less for a while. thanks againfor sharing your story and advice, all the best for your wedding and life ahead!