Post # 47
If you are not financially stable enough to plan and pay for a wedding then you are not financially secure enough to have a child! (Just from what you have said in previous posts) You say if he proposed tomorrow you would say yes, would you then start TTC too? I think you should tell him what your timeline is and make your beliefs and opinions count. Theres no problem with having children before marriage or never getting married or never having children but there is a problem with all of those things if they are not what you truly want!
I dont necessarily understand his point but its what he believes and if you are happy to go along with that then thats fine, he’s not wrong its just his opinion! Stand your ground and if you both love each other as you seem too you will come to a conclusion that will suit you both!
Post # 48
JUst coming across this post now, and wodered how it worked out for you.
I have 2 children ( ages 4 and 2) and am yet to be married to their father ( big Day is 3 months away!!)
Our eldest was a surprise baby ( mini pill fail) but we made the decision to have our second before we were married. Infact we did things in what some people would say is reverse- We had children, then bought a house, and now we are getting married.
I wouldnt change a thing, I am very happy with my life, and the people I share it with. Having children is a much bigger commitment than getting married, And if you want to bring a child into the world with someone then the marriage can happen before or after, makes no difference.
Post # 49
@Liss13: so how did this pan out?! My SO has a similar frame of mind! he say’s kids are a bigger commitment to marraige and he’d have a child with me tomorrow. his parents divorced when he was 16, and he was devestated. while he does want to marry me, he told me from the start he doesn’t understand how ppl rush into marriage. I told him I don’t understand how ppl rush into committing to another human being!
I would be open to having a child like you once the ring is on my finger. I’m not opposed to kids before marraige at all, but i’d like a wedding date set if i was pregnant. Before I commit to bringing a child into the world i want commitment from my man, that hes committed to me.