(Closed) planning wedding but dad needs transplant

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
6123 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I can totally relate to your story.


I have a full on wedding planned (desitntion wedding for guests, but near to us) in about 4.5 months.  My dad was given 3-5 months to live.  It has the potential to be just awful timing. 

In the end we are going to undo it all and cancel this wedding because a) I cannot fathom having to put on a wedding if I have to mourn for my father, b) no one has purchased tickets yet, c) we can still get our money back.  It’s just the best option.

We are now thinking that we’ll just elope somewhere awesome and make it our honeymoon (since we couldn’t afford one with plan A).  So much eaiser for everyone invovled.  No familes have to travel.  No one has to spend gob of money to see us.  It would take place after the dust has settled and I’ve mourned (so no real time frame). 

Then with the money we saved by NOT having a wedding, we’ll just go visit our families and the guests that would have been invited.  Sounds like that may work also for your situation.  We are of course paying for all of it ourselves. 


We may or may not have a reception/party futher dwn the road.  I do know I’d love for our families to meet at some point.  So at the very least just having our families to our state for a mini vacation.

Post # 4
6123 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

To add: yes I do know of a friend who had THREE weddings because she was from australia and he was local.  Not sure where the 3rd took place.  Three seems a bit excessive but you could do a civil ceremony and a religious ceremony like I hear is common in Europe.

So religious in the UK and then civil in the US with your dad?

Post # 5
20 posts
  • Wedding: January 2013

Oh, my heart breaks for you. I’d definitely consider a private ceremony with just family, here in the states, and perhaps do just the celebration in europe. if your FI’s parents can’t understand that this is a life and death matter, then that is selfish.

Post # 7
5886 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

So sorry you are going through this. So if you get legally married here, you won’t be able to get legally married there? How would they know you are legally married here unless you tell them?

This is what I would do have a small non-legal wedding here. Have a friend do the ceremony or even a minister (explain the situation), but don’t get the legal paperwork done. Then have a large legal wedding in Europe. 

This is kinda what we did, we had a 50 person non-legal wedding in VA. Then on our honeymoon we went to Vegas and got legally married. When people found out that the VA wedding wasn’t legal, I just explained the situation and that in our hearts we would be married.

Good Luck!

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