Post # 1
I think me and Mr. Bells made some progress last night.
Two of his married male friends, came to the city to visit, and we went out for drinks. They ended up telling my BF , in my presence, that it is obvious that he and I are meant to be, and that he should just “man up” and propose. The friend then asked whether we are getting married in the UK or in my home country, and my BF said that we will probably do it in the UK. At this point I left the conversation to go to the ladies’ room, so I am not quite sure what he said to them. When I came back, one of the friends pulled me aside and said that it’s clear that my BF loves me more than anything, but that he seems a bit scared to take the big step and actually propose.
So I then pulled my BF aside and asked him whether he thinks we can get married in 2012 (I kept the conversation light-hearted so that I wouldn’t seem too pushy). He said that the idea of marriage scares him a little bit, but that he thought 2012 was a realistic goal.
Now the thing is, when he said that he’d had a few drinks and I haven’t brought up the subject today, so I am not sure if he actually meant it when he said we could get married in 2012.
At the moment, I am looking at prices for various things like wedding bands, dresses, cakes etc. to get a general idea of how much the wedding will cost. I am just wondering if you ladies think it’s too soon for me to start planning, as he hasn’t actually asked yet?
Post # 3
I would definitely hold off until he proposes. It sounds like this was more a hypothetical conversation, not an actual proposal.
Post # 4
hmm…I would hold off for now…when you have a little better of a conversation…sober and you both agree you want to get married at a certain point…then yeah go for it! But right now he seems a little unsure of the whole idea…so just give him some time to get used to it 🙂
Post # 5
There’s nothing wrong with looking and entertaining ideas. It’s really about what’s conducive to your desires, not anyone else’s. Mr. Huneebee and I have totally begun leg work for our July 2011 wedding, without being “officially” engaged. Communication is key. As long as you both are on the same page and committed to moving forward, it’s totally ok to create a wishlist. I’ve learned very quickly to do what makes me happy and not focus so much on what others will think. Do what feels natural and makes you happy! Best wishes to you…
Post # 6
I agree w/ other posters – If you have some doubts whether you should get the planning ball rolling, I’d say hold off for now.
Post # 7
I would hold off until you know, even when I found out about WeddingBee, I didn’t make a profile until after he proposed. I was sooo afraid to jinx it.
But planning, I mean you can get ideas (Monica’s Wedding Binder! Ha loved that friends episode) but I wouldn’t start booking.
Post # 8
Hmm… I don’t think there’s anything wrong with starting to think about what style wedding you’ll want or how much you are willing to spend, it’s never to early to start having ideas… but I don’t think you should talk to him about it until you either have a follow up conversation with him or he actually proposes. Just be aware that when he does propose, all your ideas will have to be run through again with him because it’s his wedding as well as yours.
So in answer to your question -it’s not too early to start thinking about things and getting an idea of how much things cost (browsing on the internet, saving images etc) but don’t start officially planning until you are more certain of things.
Really exciting step forward though!! xx
Post # 9
I don’t think there is anything wrong with gathering ideas, for when the time comes.Nothing wrong with getting a feel for prices to be prepared and to NOT go into it thinking a certain amount will be more than enough for the specific things you want.
And definitely what Mrs.T2b said, don’t get too hooked because he has to give his ideas too. Trust me, he may have some and be a very involved groom….My SO has told me we need a destination wedding, then a Disney Wedding on the beach and even what he wants the color scheme to be. Thank God he doesn’t care about invitations, favors and save the dates.LOL
Post # 11
Definitely wait… even if your relationship is totally solid, and you definitely end up getting married in 2012, your tastes may change drastically, or he might want more input when you’re actually engaged. Or family issues might come up. We assumed we’d have a nice fall wedding, and openly talked about it for almost a year before we were “officially” engaged, but when the actual ring showed up and we started talking with family members, it turned out only a summer wedding would do.
You’re still two years away, so you have plenty of time. We’re only doing “legwork” planning for 9 months.
Post # 12
Thank you for your input ladies!
I followed MrsT2B’s advice and had a sober follow-up conversation two days ago.
I asked him whether he finds the idea of marriage a bit scary. He was very sweet and replied “No I didn’t mean it like that. What I meant was, that I think it will be a bit scary on the wedding day, when we’re in the church and everybody is looking at us. But I don’t think it’s so scary that I don’t want to do it, so you have nothing to worry about”.
I then asked him if he really thinks that it’s a realistic goal for us to get married in 2012. He said “That depends on how big of a wedding you want”. I then said I only want a small wedding with maybe 40 guests or less on my side, and he said jokingly “Haha that’s good, that leaves more room for my guests”. After he said that I felt more optimistic, so I asked him if he’s okay with me starting to look at prices for wedding stuff so I can work out how much we should expect to pay, and he said he was perfectly fine with that.
So now I feel quite happy with this development 🙂 Thank you for your advice!