(Closed) Planning without a proposal?

posted 12 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
180 posts
Blushing bee

I would definitely hold off until he proposes.  It sounds like this was more a hypothetical conversation, not an actual proposal.

Post # 4
1114 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

hmm…I would hold off for now…when you have a little better of a conversation…sober and you both agree you want to get married at a certain point…then yeah go for it! But right now he seems a little unsure of the whole idea…so just give him some time to get used to it 🙂

Post # 5
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

There’s nothing wrong with looking and entertaining ideas. It’s really about what’s conducive to your desires, not anyone else’s. Mr. Huneebee and I have totally begun leg work for our July 2011 wedding, without being “officially” engaged. Communication is key. As long as you both are on the same page and committed to moving forward, it’s totally ok to create a wishlist. I’ve learned very quickly to do what makes me happy and not focus so much on what others will think. Do what feels natural and makes you happy! Best wishes to you…

Post # 6
495 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I agree w/ other posters – If you have some doubts whether you should get the planning ball rolling, I’d say hold off for now. 

Post # 7
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I would hold off until you know, even when I found out about WeddingBee, I didn’t make a profile until after he proposed. I was sooo afraid to jinx it.

But planning, I mean you can get ideas (Monica’s Wedding Binder! Ha loved that friends episode) but I wouldn’t start booking.

Post # 8
378 posts
Helper bee

Hmm… I don’t think there’s anything wrong with starting to think about what style wedding you’ll want or how much you are willing to spend, it’s never to early to start having ideas… but I don’t think you should talk to him about it until you either have a follow up conversation with him or he actually proposes. Just be aware that when he does propose, all your ideas will have to be run through again with him because it’s his wedding as well as yours.

So in answer to your question -it’s not too early to start thinking about things and getting an idea of how much things cost (browsing on the internet, saving images etc) but don’t start officially planning until you are more certain of things.

Really exciting step forward though!! xx

Post # 9
2689 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t think there is anything wrong with gathering ideas, for when the time comes.Nothing wrong with getting a feel for prices to be prepared and to NOT go into it thinking a certain amount will be more than enough for the specific things you want. 

And definitely what Mrs.T2b said, don’t get too hooked because he has to give his ideas too. Trust me, he may have some and be a very involved groom….My SO has told me we need a destination wedding, then a Disney Wedding on the beach and even what he wants the color scheme to be. Thank God he doesn’t care about invitations, favors and save the dates.LOL


Post # 10
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009


Post # 11
5592 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Definitely wait… even if your relationship is totally solid, and you definitely end up getting married in 2012, your tastes may change drastically, or he might want more input when you’re actually engaged.  Or family issues might come up.  We assumed we’d have a nice fall wedding, and openly talked about it for almost a year before we were “officially” engaged, but when the actual ring showed up and we started talking with family members, it turned out only a summer wedding would do. 

You’re still two years away, so you have plenty of time.  We’re only doing “legwork” planning for 9 months.

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