(Closed) plans changed, decided to elope,… now ??? (venting? undecisive? HELP!)

posted 5 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would do it as small as possible. I understand wanting to have your adult kids there but it’s eloping and that basically means, secret. IMO I wouldn’t even have the friends there to witness. Plus, it will give you both more alone time and you can do whatever you want! Not having to worry about others’ schedules, attire, or anything else. My Fiance and I are eloping to NZ and having no family and friends means we can stick to our own schedule whether that means waking up and planning or scheduling the entire trip ahead of time. Ultimately – It’s YOUR day and NO ONE else matters. Not even the children. They are adults and they will understand. :O)

Post # 4
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee

I don’t know how your relationshipwith your kids is and how they feel about your relationship. Personally I want my daughter at my wedding, wether i’m eloping or not. But she’s 7 years old, so it might feel differently when she’s in her twenties.

But why not wait with getting married untill things settle down a bit and you had time to save some money? If this doens’t feel right to you than I feel you should not do it. I’m nog against eloping, but you feel so anxious about it that it might not be the choice for you. Afterall: what’s another year or two? 

Post # 5
Member
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I eloped and did not tell anyone.  I really think that’s the best policy if you’re going to do it — otherwise you’re going to hurt someone’s feelings.

On the other hand, if you want your kids there, maybe eloping is really not the best decision for you.

Post # 7
Member
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Oklahomajewel:  Oh, we pissed several people off.  I am the oldest and my dad’s only girl, my husband was the only boy in his family.  But it’s our wedding and our marriage, and I was 27 when I did it and I could have given two shits less what anyone thought.  To this day people bring it up and we’ve been married going on 3 years and I still could give a crap.  You have to do what makes you happy in this instance.  No one but me is picking up after the dude and has to listen to him when he’s sick etc.

I lived in San Antonio for 11 years.  You will need to be in Texas for 72 hours after applying for the license.  I don’t think they have an out of state waiver.  Good luck!

Post # 8
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Oklahomajewel:  I would just push the date back.  I too in my 40’s adult kids, he has adult kids.  And our plans have changed three times now.  I have picked the FINAL date, and this time I WILL NOT CHANGE IT!  But between kids, and grandbabies, and high school graduations, and children getting married…….our plans just didn’t initially work out.  So here I am, much like you, frustrated.

If you want something memorable.  Then do it.  If you can, wait and give yourself more time to get your finances together.  Don’t cheat yourself out of something you want in your heart. And if you want to elope, that is fine too.  This is your day, and everyone else needs to just be supportive of your wishes.

Keep us posted, and know that you are not the only one going through this kind of frustration!

Post # 9
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

My mom and step dad ran off to the court house.  Told us when they got back.  It worked for them and while my brother and I were a bit shocked, we were fine.  We were only 14/17 or so at the time.

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