- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
I don’t know if I’m just being indecisive or I’m depressed over different things but it’s getting close and we can’t agree !!!!
Background: we’re both late 40s, second marraige. Dated 2 yrs plus, engaged almost 1 yr. And for the last 2 months, pretty much living together. (so it feels like we’re already married ya know?)
Long story short: PLAN A First we decided – not a traditional stuffy wedding. After getting house set up on his land, have nice catered outdoor meal, drinks, casual, dance floor , etc. A reception and party with a little wedding thrown in. something different, FUN
My house still for sale, money is an issue, now have medical things going on, and house repairs, etc.
Last fall we decided – PLAN B book this gorgeous cabin where we got engaged , have it there! Just decided at New Years – too far away, not everyone can be there (Mar 23), too hard to get photog and cake etc and STILL be just as costly as plan A.
Scratch that … forget it. Why spend a couple of thousand on just a couple hours , and then no money for any honeymoon.
AH HA !!! PLAN C Let’s just run away , get married, ELOPE!!! We started talking cruises, found one we liked leaving Mar 3 ! Let’s do it ! Elope , don’t tell anyone, we’ll call them from the port that day … how exciting. Spend the same amount of money but have a sweet 7 day honeymoon cruise for us ! Yea!!! We’re booked. This will be great!
Ok … we have not told ANYONE!!!! not our kids, not his best friend, not my Maid/Matron of Honor (who by the way, pulled out back at new years) We’ll drive down there, get married by a minister on the beach or the ship or something, have some pictures taken …..
NOW … why am I upset you ask? I actually was getting excited about the ELOPING … which means you go away to get married and do it privately , no mention beforehand to anyone … kind of exciting, sneaky , DIFFERENT , FUN, EXCITING! But finding out minister cost alone is still $200 even for a tiny simple two person 15 ceremony. AND photographer wants a 3 hour minimum @$60/hr. …. now we’re getting costly again.
SOOOO … this comes to now. NOW … fiance says “lets just tell best man (& his wife) and my Maid/Matron of Honor to meet us somewhere, only tell them a few days ahead of time , and get married here in town on Friday night. Nobody else. Swear them to secrecy!”
Short , simple, casual … then go to a nice restaurant , then we leave for the cruise the next morning. hmmmmm None of our grown kids, no other friends, but Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man and local preacher & friend have to SWEAR not to blab about it or post on facebook etc.
So now it doesn’t feel like eloping to me. It feels like….. I don’t know. And I still think we should have our kids ( 3 boys , all early 20’s , not married) be there.
Or should we still call it eloping, have kids and everyone else think we eloped but we and three friends know it’s just a small wedding and honeymoon.
oh and then it would make sense to have my other friend Susan come take photos .. now we’re turning it into a small wedding!!!
I just needed to vent. It’s 3:45 in the morning and I’m almost depressed about all this. Or maybe we should really keep it secret and just do the vows with his best friend and wife and preacher and act like we eloped.
I”m terribly confused and can’t come to terms with it. I”m not a showy, center of attention person, but still … it’s our wedding.
Thanks for ‘listening”. Sorry for the rant.