(Closed) Plated Dinner RSVP Question

posted 6 years ago in Paper
  • poll: Which RSVP for my seated dinner?
    The first one: generic entrees with the reserved seats line : (7 votes)
    41 %
    The second one: detailed entrees without the reserved seats line : (10 votes)
    59 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1375 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Some people do that to cut down on responses for more people than you invited. If you don’t have room, just make sureyou address the invite to mr. And mrs. Smith rather than the smith family. If they write in extra guests, simply call and explain that you cannot accommodate additions.

    Post # 4
    Member
    9955 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Ya putting in the NUMBER yourself, means there are less misunderstandings, and therefore less follow-up phone calls to make vs just using the traditional addressing format (Mr & Mrs John Smith OR Jane & John Smith)

    Etiquette on RSVPs has had to change in the last 20+ Years, because fewer and fewer people KNOW / KNEW that an Invite was addressed ONLY to those invited.

    Otherwise, you could be having this conversation…

    “Sorry, but the invite is just for you Jane and your husband, John… not you two and your 4 kids”

    Less awkward… as some Guests can get a bit snippy if you tell them to their faces that their “darling children” are not invited to your formal affair.

    Sadly, even spelling it out for some folks doesn’t always work… and you will find yourself still having to make the occasional phone call to someone who has crossed out the 2 and wrote in 6

     

    Post # 5
    Bee
    1433 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House

    What we did was had the invite cards printed with _______________ then right under, We have reserved one seat in your honor.  Then we wrote the persons name in the blank, and we additionally had to do one RSVP card PER PERSON.  So, We had to have more RSVPs cards made up, but it works well. 

    (It also facilitates meal choice!!)

    Post # 6
    Member
    9955 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Lol, Thanks to EAGLE… she explained it soooo much better than I was trying to in regards to the PROS and CONS and how to get around this dilemma.

    And also means you can make stacks of who is having what… one stack of RSVP Cards for those having Chicken, another for Beef & Shrimp, and a third for Pasta

    Lol, and if you are really organized (and there is enough lead time) you can even tell the Caterers the meal choices per table (ie Table A = 3 Chicken + 5 Beef & Shrimp + 2 Pasta)… I’ve been an “Event Planner” in the past, and we’ve even had those breakdowns for the Kitchen at times.  Helpful for the Waiters.

     

    Post # 8
    Bee
    1433 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House

    @Willow1991:  Postage won’t be jacked up too much – and if you have 2 people per household (are you inviting kids?) then they just both send them back in the same envelope. 

    Post # 10
    Bee
    1433 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House

    @Willow1991:  In your case, I would chose the 2nd RSVP card you have in the original post.  It seems like the most idiot-proof.  Also, you could consider writing in the names if you want. 

    EDIT: can you add the reserved line to the 2nd card? 

    Post # 11
    Member
    4275 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    In hindsight, I probably would have put the reserved seats on my invitations. I did not last time and I had to explain to a couple why they could not invite their 3 kids. This happened multiple times after and just led to drama. You would think people would know, but no they do not.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1041 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    We didn’t do the “reserved seats” line, we just addressed the invitation appropriately. Didn’t have any issues with people inviting people or adding to their RSVP card. But a side note- barely any of our guests initialed next to their entrees which is making placecards difficult (i had planned on indicating each guests entree for the servers with diff. colored rhinestones). Just an FYI.

     

    eta- if I were to do it again, I would probably do what eagle suggested. It’s just SO annoying not knowing exactly what each guest wants to eat. Even if I know, in general for example, that a family of five wants 3 chicken and 2 fish, I still don’t know who in the family wants chicken and who wants fish. I’d rather know and reduce the confusion when the meals are being served, i.e. avoid the waiter asking each guest “did you order chicken or fish?” and then have the possibility of guests changing their order at the last minute (i.e. deciding the fish looked better than the chicken, and asking for fish even though they RSVPed for chicken) and screwing up our numbers. At least if you know what they RSVPed for, you can indicated that on their placecard so the server doesnt have to ask them. When you have a family on one RSVP card, it makes that difficult because no one follows the “initials” directions on the card (trust me….they really don’t).

    Post # 14
    Member
    11356 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    @Willow1991: Your response cards are beautiful and seem to go perfectly with the formality of your gorgeous ball gown! Nice choice!

    I selected the second option in your poll.  I love seeing the menu items spelled out, and I do not think you need the “We have reserved … seats in your honor” language.  This actually is a relatively new approach to RSVP wording, and I personally am not a fan of it.  It definitely is not necessary, and I have never seen it used in real life. I actually had not even heard of it until WB. The PPs above did a great job of explaining why, and how, they used it, however.

    I accomplished the same thing (deterring potential extra guests) by using inner envelopes specifically addressed to the the members of the household who were being invited, and I had absolutely no problems at all with people attempting to bring uninvited children or any other extra guests.

    The topic ‘Plated Dinner RSVP Question’ is closed to new replies.

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