Post # 1
I’ve been following several threads lately about different regional customs and wedding traditions. They have devolved into etiquette bickering and ‘correct’ methods to host a wedding, while also making those who disagree with the ‘correct’ way feel like mud.
Brides, grooms, friends, and family are all from different backgrounds. The cultures that make up these groups are what make them unique. Why not embrace these differences in cultures (i.e. see Miss Sloth’s post), rather than demand that your way is the only way and attacking those who disagree. There is more than one way to host an event otherwise life wouldn’t be any fun.
Frankly, learn to play nice!
Post # 3
Ugh, I so hear this! But, I have to say, the drama is confined to a few select posters who seem to stir up drama wherever they go on this site.
Post # 4
Agreed 🙂 I’m sure I’ve done so many things wrong when planning my wedding…frankly, who cares? Who set all these ridiculous rules anyway?
Post # 5
Different opinions will always cause a little strife. But to be completely honest, I’ve never seen anyone take their views so far as to be completely offensive or attacking, like you see on other sites. coughtheknotcough.
Post # 6
@amaroo24: No one (that I’ve seen) is putting down anyone’s culture and of course there are plenty of ways to host an event and still be a gracious hostess. There are also ways to host events and be a very ungracious hostess. It seems to me the people “not playing nice” are those that want to shout down anyone who dares shed a little light on correct wedding etiquette. I feel bad for brides asking real manners questions getting bad, ill-informed or self-serving advise.
I would imagine that if someone is truly comfortable with their choices, then they wouldn’t “feel like mud” or get defensive.
Its amusing that so many people get bent out of shape when it comes to THEM following etiquette (and they immediately dismiss it as being “old-fashioned” or “ridiculous rules”) but I have little doubt these very same people would be howling the loudest if one of their guests behaved rudely at their wedding!
What is it called when you want to behave one way and expect everyone else to behave another?
Post # 7
oh my word – you’re here too? you found this thread with a quickness and gave it quite the sour taste with quite the quickness!
Post # 9
@dolce bella: My post was what you posted, except more veiled 🙂
Post # 10
i didn’t mean to call out… wait, that’s false. i probably did.
but i had just finished reading the an entire, yes ENTIRE non-etiquette, turned etiquette post in one sitting (*cough* you know the one i mean?) and then i came on this hoping to find some relief from the preaching and… well… seemed to have stumbled right back into it.
i’m all about finding the advice, scrolling for how-to’s and when to’s and what not on the Bee, it’s why i love.. but to hear the “it’s rude, self-serving, you’re wrong, you’re wrong, you’re wrong, how dare you..” i believe the term “howling” was used as well…
end of my wednesday rope!
sorry to get in the mud.
Post # 11
IMO anyone who posts on here or asks questions is opening themselves up to be accousted by the “wedding police”, and that is a risk you take when you start asking random stranges questions; people have bigger balls through the protection of the internet. That being said, I can’t STAND it when people come in and change the topic of a thread and start making snarky comments about how things are tacky. Just because you don’t like the way someone is doing things doesn’t mean you should all out attack them.
I TOTALLY get this.
Post # 12
After being on here long enough I’ve learned which topics tend to get more heated than others. I usually just don’t click on them. If a thread starts to take a turn for the worst I will usually x out and go hang out the dress boards… They are way more fun and very, very rarely snarky! 🙂
Post # 13
I have seen some threads turn into total drama-fests and not even expected it to take that turn. Sometimes people just want to be jerks and can’t stand that their point (or opinion) isn’t being validated…
Post # 14
@jamiemichelle: Amen. I have to say though, that compared to cough*TheKnot*cough that WB is a much friendlier and safer place to ask advice from other brides.
I think the problem is that on WB there are a few select people who see themselves as the Wedding Etiquette Police and demand their “Miss Manners” or Emily Post rule on weddings is the ONLY answer to wedding etiquette inquiries.
Perhaps instead of demanding that your answer is always the correct answer, posters should switch over to saying “I’d suggest that… because….” instead of saying, “Your wrong because…”. That’s when people feel cut down and get defensive.
Post # 15
@jamiemichelle: Hmmm. I haven’t seen anyone post an opinion that at least some, if not many people agreed with.
Post # 16
@lisa105: Whether or not someone agrees with a given opinion is not the point.