(Closed) Playing the waiting game with Anxiety

posted 4 years ago in Proposals
Post # 2
Member
10357 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I think you should talk to your Boyfriend or Best Friend. His want to do things traditionally should not trump your mental health. Would it help if he told you the specific weekend he was planning on proposing? He can still do whatever romantic thing he has planned but maybe it will help with your anxiety to know exactly when it’s coming. Taking out the surprise timing element of it seems like a decent compromise to me.

Post # 4
Member
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I also have panic disorder and GAD.  I totally get it.  I totally understand the anxiety about the uncertainty of waiting for a traditional proposal, the creeping thoughts of “oh my god what if this is all a horrible mistake” — but we know what this is.  There’s something, at least for me, reassuring about remembering that all these thoughts are the product of irrational ruminative processes and not reflective of reality.  I know he wants to marry me.  I know I want to marry him.  I know I wouldn’t even have made it this far if this weren’t the right thing.  

Is there any chance you could ask him for more specifics on the proposal and when it’s coming?  For example, if he could say it’s this month, or not for at least another month…?

Have you ever done CBT or ACT? Have you thought about applying those coping techniques — for example, challenging your automatic thoughts, or comparing how your behavior and feelings now are different from how you’d like them to be and ways in which you can change your behavior to make your now and ideal more in-line?

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