(Closed) Playing with fire and need advice

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
874 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@ashley99:  I’m confused….you’re “retaliating” now because of something he did 6 years ago?

Post # 5
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

He did this when the two of you were not married.  Yet you chose to do the same thing while married.  But you say you did it to retaliate for something that happened six years ago.  It took you six years to retaliate?  Seriously?  How in the world does that make any sense?

If he hasn’t used the website recently, I’d guess that he forgot it was even there.  God knows that you could probably find websites that I was registered for six years ago and haven’t returned to. 

Post # 6
942 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@ashley99:  Im confused, is his still ACTIVELY going onto these sites?

If he’s currently actively looking for sex, divorce– this is apalling.  

Post # 7
874 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@ashley99:  Still not understanding here….Perhaps my coffee hasn’t rightly kicked in yet. If he did it when you guys weren’t married, 6 years ago, what relevance does it have now? And how does your doing it, while married, make things even?


Post # 8
784 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@ashley99:  it’s not going to make your relationship stronger to hurt him like he hurt you.  Either this is something you could possibly forgive him for, and you work together to reach that point, or this is a deal breaker and you move on.  Stooping down to his lowest level will not get you where you want to be.

Post # 9
8879 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i don’t understand why you don’t want to be intimate with your husband now?

Post # 11
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Please get to counseling … BOTH of you.  You’re treating your marriage like a High School romance.  Trying to teach him a lesson?  What if he sees you JUST established this profile, you put explicit pics on a site, and once they are on the internet they are there forEVER.  What if your husband decides he doesn’t know if you have met up with someone?  What if he ups the ante and decides to go meet one of the people on the site?  Or takes it to mean you’re “good” with this whole thing.  Seriously get some help both of you.

Post # 12
511 posts
Busy bee

@tampalove35:  +1,

I’m confused, he was looking 6 years ago on several websites and you confronted him and it was done but now you found a new ACTIVE one a few DAYS ago??

If that’s the case, that’s grounds for divorce. If he needs that much sex and you’re not interested in sex then you two are incompatible. I personally wouldn’t be able to be with someone who thought it was OK to cheat or even have random sex with strangers, that’s just not the type of person I would want to be with. If your husband is actively on a dating for sex website posting pictures then you loved a person who doesn’t exist, the person you love sounds like a lying cheating sex addict, but maybe I am misreading the situation.

I can’t even address what you did, that’s just so incredibly immature and stupid. For you to say “well, now I don’t want to delete mine because I like the attention” – you need counseling. Get some self worth. Learn to have some self respect and perhaps you’ll even see the man you’re with isn’t the man for you. Grow up, this is real life, this is a marriage, I really hope you’ll go to therapy.


Post # 14
3025 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

You know what you’re doing is not right. How is this going to help anything? Do you really think getting a “taste of his own medicine” is going to cure him? I don’t.

What you do need is to have a really open conversation about all these issues. Setting some boundaries or drawing lines might help you feel more secure. I would really consider getting some couples counseling, as well.

Yes, getting attention on-line is hot. But it doesn’t last. You know you need to stop this. Delete the account and do NOT try to use this against your Darling Husband. You will only regret it.


Post # 16
722 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

it sounds like this relationship needs counseling or else it’s over. 🙁

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