(Closed) please be honest

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 32
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

If mr and mrs are paying for the hotel room I don’t see how the bride and groom would have any plaice to tell them the kids can’t stay in the room during the wedding, that’s absurd and sounds spiteful

Post # 33
419 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I actually do not agree with most of the PPs. The parents are obviously close with the B&G as they’re both in the wedding party and Mrs is groom’s sister. Bride invited the entire family, but Mr and Mrs are kind and smart enough to say you know what, our kids are young and may ruin the ceremony, we probably shouldn’t have them there. They then asked for numerous ways to make this situation work for them and B&G would not budge. I’m not saying it’s right for Mr and Mrs to have called both bride and groom seperately, but I feel like B&G are saying no just to say no.

I see so many threads here where guests brought their children to the ceremony even though they were specifically asked not to. Here, you have two members of the wedding party trying to make the situation work, and a stubborn B&G don’t seem to want to work with them. You said Mr and Mrs usually don’t leave kids alone with the nanny for extended periods of time. Well two 6 hours drives plus the wedding is certainly an extended period of time. I think it’s more than reasonable that Mr and Mrs would like the kids nearby, and preferably in the same location, instead of 6 hours away. And how young is “small children”?

I guess I just don’t understand why the numerous options given by Mr and Mrs aren’t good enough. These aren’t just regular guests, they’re members of the bridal party and Mrs is groom’s sister. I certainly don’t think it’s unreasonable to have the nanny and kids in the “room bride and groom are paying for”. Is this the B&Gs actual room they’ll be spending the night in? And even so, I put myself in bride’s situation, and I’d without a doubt let groom’s sister’s children be in the room.

Post # 34
762 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

@selena12312:  Bride.  What’s the harm with the nanny going if she is not costing the bride/groom any money?  

I must say, though, that I do not really like parents who are unable to control their children in the car. or elsewhere.  My dad just had to look at me, and I knew EXACTLY what I had to do.  

Post # 35
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I think the issue is that the kids were obviously invited, and the B&G didn’t take into consideration that the parents can’t watch their kids while they are doing their duties. I’m wondering what B&G THOUGHT the parents would do. Or maybe they did realize it wouldn’t work and just hoped that they would decide to leave the kids at home…which is pretty shady. 


But not knowing which party you are, it’s hard to make that assumption. The parents really have no choice but to figure something else out…if that is you, it sucks but you have to deal with it. Maybe they can find something fun to do in the area…a little day trip for the nanny and kids.

ETA: Are there personal issues here? Has there been a rift somehwere b/t the B&G and this couple…I’m asking b/c I know that Fiance and I would be less accommodating to his SIL if she asks for any kind of ‘special’ treatment for her and her son at our wedding, just b/c she’s generally a difficult human being, and we both have personal issues with her.



Post # 36
1502 posts
Bumble bee

@selena12312:  Once the Mrs. was told on call number one that the mansion’s max occupancy was 60, they should have stopped asking.  The Mr. & Mrs. are being pushy and rude, essentially expecting someone else be uninvited from the 60 occupants so that they can being their nanny.  They are trying to bully the bride and groom into doing what they want, and they are out of line.

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