(Closed) Please be kind

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
8439 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Whilst I mainly agree it might also help if people who don’t want to hear opinions don’t ask for them! I mean if you don’t want to hear someone doesn’t like your ring then don’t ask do you like my ring/what do you think of my ring!

Post # 5
Member
1417 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@GelaMac:  awesome. Well said! I don’t like when people say ” I hate 3 stone e rings” thanks because that’s what I’m getting! Lol whatever. 

Post # 6
Member
8439 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@GelaMac:  But snark is in the eye of the beholder also. Some people are really sensitive, others not so much. Everyones opinions is valid regardless of whether it is what you want to hear or not. Snark is moderated by the moderaters- it is up to them and no one else to decide whether something is snarky or not IMO.

Post # 8
Member
8439 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@GelaMac:  No I get the point of your post I just don’t think it is your job to school bees on how they should or shouldn’t post.

Post # 9
Member
2893 posts
Sugar bee

@j_jaye:  With that logic we shouldn’t have mods because how dare they restrict what our wild imaginations can conjure on the internet? She never said people aren’t allowed to speak honestly. She also never denied the existance of people who ask for opinions when they generally just want agreement with some ideal already stuck in their head. She’s simply saying that there is no reason for people to be purposefully, even maliciously rude to others. Reminders like that are often helpful because while, yes, the moderators are in charge of moderating, sometimes when we remind ourselves and others the we all desire kindness and consideration it helps keep those negative instances from occuring. She’s not taking it upon herself to be an “unofficial moderator.” She’s simply stating that rude behavior hurts people and it’s best if we each individually strive to not let it happen.

Post # 10
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I do understand the point of your post.  However, when a thread exists that asks for posters’ least favorite types of rings, a poster who is sensitive about her ring choice would be smart to avoid it.

And if the worst thing about someone’s day is that they find out that a person that they don’t know IRL doesn’t like their halo/princess/marquise/pave/gemstone, well that’s still a pretty good day, IMO. Laughing

Post # 11
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Agree! 

Post # 12
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@j_jaye:  I agree. It’s a slippery slope.

When some girls phrase things like “HONESTLY, what do you think?” I will give my honest opinion because I think that’s what they’re looking for.

If someone posts “I’m engaged, ring porn!” I will never put a rude comment even if the ring isn’t my taste. If I don’t have something nice to say, I won’t say it.

I admit I have been involved in a few moissanite debates during my tenure here at Weddingbee, but I try to stay away from getting into an argument on those threads.. I guess it’s an agree to disagree type thing.

Post # 13
Member
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

@GelaMac: Totally agree! I wanted to say something like this recently on another thread, but you are much more eloquent and said it so much nicer. Needless to say I DIDN’T post! I wrote it out, realized it wouldn’t be helpful, and erased. My point was basically “leave each to make their own choice, and be respectful” but it wouldn’t have come out just that way. So I decided to be adult and not say something sarcastic, even if it was for the sake of defending others’ who may have been hurt. I think sometimes we get all caught up in the debate and want to defend our choices or others, especially if someone said it rather meanly.

And I agree, there’s a big difference between someone posting for opinions who doesn’t want to hear them, even the nice ones, and someone’s well meaning opinion taken out of context… and someone posting just to be mean, belittle, or use rude words. GelaMac has a great point. Yes, it’s the internet, and yes we have a certain amount of freedom to say what we want, but we also are human beings talking to other human beings. Why fester in nastiness and snark if you honestly don’t have to?

Post # 14
Member
3830 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Alot of people said they hated solitaire square cut rings. Exactly what i have. 

But what they have is a ring i personally dont like. Do i take offence? NO because a ring is a personal choice and i LOVE my ring. 

We cant always accomodate sensitive people unfortunately. 

Post # 15
Member
8439 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@claireos:  No but she is passing judgement on what is malicious and isn’t. As I said there are moderators on this site that determine, as per the TOS that we all agree to when we sign up, what is snarky/mean/malicious/against the TOS. Starting a thread to scold or shame people isn’t really in the spirit of the community!

Post # 16
Member
6512 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@j_jaye:  I don’t really take this as a shaming thread – to me it is just a reminder that our words can hurt feelings, so we should take care with them.  That makes sense to me!

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