(Closed) PLEASE COMMENT ASAP! DEPRESSION/Relationship worries

posted 8 years ago in Wellness
Post # 17
Member
1139 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

It is extremely common for college freshman to get depressed. You were right to seek help, please keep calling until they get you in or if you have health insurance get to a family doctor right away. If you are from somewhere else ask a local for a doctor recommendation. Please jump on this, you don’t have to deal with this alone. And something you can do for yourself is get to the college gym. 30-40 minutes of cardio a day will do wonders for you usually in the first week. Another thing to do is eat healthy and start a multivitamin and 900 milligrams of fish oil a day. All of these things are things a doctor will be telling you to do so you can jumpstart your own treatment. Know that things will get better so don’t make any decisions while your dealing with this. You will get through it if you do the right things for yourself. You aren’t alone so keep reaching out and try not to isolate yourself. I hope you feel better real soon!

Post # 18
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I went through something similar when I started college.  I was very depressed and didnt want to do anything. My school had free mental health couseling and I learned how to deal with my depression. It was really helpful. I cant say that I dont have some down days now but I know how to better deal with my bad days. 

Post # 19
Member
41 posts
Newbee

View original reply
@KaylieJordan14:  **big hugs** for you.

Honestly, it definitely sounds like you need to see a therapist or counsellor. You need someone you can be flat out honest and open with and not have them judge you back and is there to help you.

I HATED University just like you but I wasn’t as sad/upset about it as you are. so just  don’t feel that you are alone out there! It is such a hard time in life and very frustrating. but i can say that it does eventually get better

keep your chin up!

Post # 20
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I have not read through all the comments becuase I am getting ready to go to bed but I just wanted to share a little about my life with you…

I will be graduating in 3 weeks. I went to school to become a teacher and it took me 6 years to gradutate a 5 year program. My last 2 years I moved home and commuted the 1.5hour commute to school 4 days a week. I worked on the weekends and did homework, etc. Needless to say I stretched myself TOO thin and became depressed. Not only all of that but everyone contantly teeling me how teachers dont get jobs and how we “babysit”…it got to me. I had a break down last winter. I almost admitted myself into a hospital becuase I was so emotionally, physcially, mentally exhausted. I lost all excitement in my life. My bf and I fought and fought…my mom and I fought…I mean I was just miserable and it got to the point where it could have seriously ruined my life. Finally I broke down and went to the doctor who agreed that I was in fact depressed and stretched too thin. 

My doc put me on celexa (anti-anxiety/depression)…I was on it for about 1.5 years. The doc told me it was ok to wean myself off the dose by cutting it in half if I felt things improve…about a month or two ago, I finally felt confident enough to wean myself off. I am completely off it now and I feel fine. Yes, every now and then I need to take a xanax which he also perscribed BUT..only when needed. Spring is here so winter depression time is gone (I’m from Michigan and winter sucks)….

My advice to you…only you know your body the best. If your having strong feelings, realise its life and its ok and its NORMAL!! Like 80+% of Amercians are depressed now days. School is hard, life is hard. Get the help you need and take care of yourself! If you need to go on medication that ok because most people are now anyway AND…when you feel better you can go off it…and if symptoms come back, you can go back on. I know this is rough, I have been there. I mean I was all but suicidal. I promise you, there IS relief. Find someone you can talk to and go see a doctor. I hope this helps and I pray you feel better. People who arnt depressed dont get it and think you are just “grumpy” but depression is real and debilitating. Talk to others who know what its like and focus on making yourself feel better. 

Feel better love! 

Post # 21
Member
5658 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I know I”m a little late on this but I hope you resolved this or at least got a head start at your appt yesterday! If not, don’t walk RUN to a doctor and start working towards feeling better. As PP stated, depression can be completely debilitating. The sooner you can take care of this and get on the road to being happier the better. Also agree with another PP that you should start exercising, it will help. However I feel like you are telling my story of myself when I was a Freshman in college. I had such a hard time in general with life at that point and it was a real struggle. In the end I ended up leaving after a year and a half and spent a lot of time trying to figure my life out. I’m 30 now and still take Celexa every day, when I have tried to wean myself off my irritation level just goes through the roof, I’m not sure I will ever NOT take it even though I’m not anywhere close to depressed now. 

Good luck! I hope you start feeling better really soon!

Post # 22
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

     I started to become depressed when I was a HS junior. It lasted about 3 years or so. You definitely sound depressed: the crying, weight loss, loss of excitement are definite signs. People would always tell me things would get better but the thing about depression is that you DON’T BELIEVE it when people tell you it will be ok someday. Getting counseling was difficult because my parents didn’t have a lot of money (they were going through a divorce, had to sell our house, my dad lost his job, and all of this happended within a couple of months. On top of that I had medical problems and didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life/what I wanted to major in/if I even wanted to go to college).
     But my mom finally found a counselor who would see me at a reduced cost. I also began reading about the topic intensely. I was constantly reading about depression and how to overcome it. There are many good books out there. I also listened to audio books while doing housework to save time. I suggest you get books from licensed professionals – not life coaches or other writers.

     I don’t know what your financial situation is or if you are gettig scholarships or what not, but if you can take a semester off and work on yourself that would be the best thing. Don’t worry about wedding planning right now. Wait to have a wedding until you recover and can fully enjoy it. My Fiance helped me enourmously. I gave him some things to read to help him understand what I was going through. Although sometimes he had a difficult time consoling me – he wasn’t always sure of what to say – sometimes just being in his arms was comfort enough.
     And when friends/family members don’t understand or believe your problem (like my dad), get assertive and tell them what you are going though IS REAL and deserves attention just as any medical problem does. It’s okay to show them your frustration when they don’t believe you. Never allow them to make you think your illness is your fault.
     The most important thing to remember is this: you WILL get better. No matter how much you may believe at this moment that things will never change and you will always be this way, YOU WILL GET BETTER. And although recovery may seem like forever away, when you get there it won’t seem so far, and you will be a better and stronger person because of what you went through and overcame. When I read those books I didn’t just learn how to overcome my depression, I also learned how to be happier in general. Now I consider myself a genrally happy person. Actually I’m happy more often than not. 
     I hope everything goes well and that you continue to take steps in the right direction. Never give up hope that you will feel better.

Post # 23
Member
4 posts
Wannabee

@KaylieJordan14:  

I know this may be a little bit late, but I just wanted to let you know I went through almost this same thing. Life seemed perfect and I was head over heels for my boyfriend. We started talking about marriage a lot in the fall and winter and we even set our wedding date before we were engaged. Right after we set the date at the beginning of January, I was thrown into a funk. A really bad bout of depression. I felt numb towards everything that I loved, hobbies, music, friends, and most importantly my boyfriend. I couldn’t motivate myself to get through a work day. I couldn’t finish anything I started. I didn’t even know who I was because I couldn’t identify with any of the things that made me, me. The feeling of numbness towards my boyfriend at a point in our lives where I was supposed to be exstatic is what really threw my even deeper into the funk. The only thing that I wanted in the world was to be able to feel my genuine feelings for him and feel that deep conection that I knew was there, hiding behind all my unwanted thoughts. Luckily I held on to the tiny thread of hope I had that I would feel normal again and with my amazing, now fiance’s support I have been able to get out of the deep depression phase and start feeling like myself again. It is still rocky at times because it is just so hard to let go of the way you felt for so long, it seems like it’s a part of you but it really doesn’t have to be. I think labels like clinical depression and general anxiety disorder make it hard to detatch yourself from your bouts. It almost gives you justification to keep feeling depressed and to not actually help yourself to get out of it, so I would definitely avoid labeling yourself with anything. I would also try to avoid putting too much meaning behind the way you’re feeling. For exaple thinking something is wrong in your relationship because you feel the way you do. Ruminating like that can send you into into even deeper funks with no real answers as to why and you can really wind up beleiving yourself. Diet, vitamins, supplements, therapy, exercise and just chilling out and letting myself live my life, instead of living in my head have got me to the point I am at right now, which is very happy, in love and about to get married in less than two weeks to the most amazing and strong man! I am eternally greatful that he was able to stick by my side and have faith in me for my whole bout of depression and I am so glad I stuck out the aweful feelings, becuse I could have easily given up on my relationships, and my whole identity when I felt like nothing was right in my life. I hope you can find comfort in my story and hope you are doing well!

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