(Closed) please correct me if im wrong..

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
Member
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I had friends in an open relationship they still had rules they just werent the same as a “normal” relationship. In their case they were both bisexual but in a hetrosexual relationship. The rules of their open relationship was that they could each sleep with people of the same sex provided they used protection. Their relationship ended because she slept with another man. That was considered cheating by her partner and very different to the agreement they had as part of their open relationship. So I don’t think many are as simple as they just go and sleep with other people they still have rules and what is allowed and isn’t. 

Post # 18
Member
10085 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I think it will be hard to explain it to you if you just arent wired that way.

Having an open relationship doesn’t make their relationship any “less” than your run of the mill relationship. They still have all the same properties except sometimes one or both may have sex with someone else. Doesn’t mean that they can’t  love each other and be as deeply devoted to one another as anyone else in a monogamous relationship.

Post # 19
Member
9089 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

It is a relationship.

It is not cheating.

If these two people are in this relationship and are consenting to it being open, it’s no less of a relationship than yours or mine. There is trust, communication, and love. It doesn’t matter how many partners are in the relationship.

Post # 20
Member
4242 posts
Honey bee

It’s just a different type of relationship. If its not for you, fine. It’s not my thing either. But in a true open relationship, partners are both on the same page so it’s not cheating. 

Post # 22
Member
770 posts
Busy bee

I’ve yet to meet a couple in an open relationship that doesn’t have problems because of it. Not saying it can’t happen, I’ve just never come across one. Often one person is more into the idea than the other, and at some point the other party gets jealous or has had enough and wants something deeper.

Interesting concept, I guess, but I don’t understand the usual claims of “it’s so liberating!” that people in open relationships believe in. There are still rules, just different ones. 

Not for me, I’m afraid.

Post # 24
Member
2600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

{{shrug}}

It’s not for me, but to paraphrase Dan Savage, it’s your relationship, your marriage. You get to define how to conduct it. If both parties are in agreement to an “open relationship” then I don’t see the problem. 

Post # 28
Member
205 posts
Helper bee

oliviakatherine:  Well you’re giving off every indication that you do care. The way I see it is, if he cheated on you, then maybe monogamy was never his thing. Therefore it seems like being in an open relationship where he and his partner have realistic expectations for one another about what commitment means to them is a good step for him towards knowing himself better and being an emotionally honest person. 

An open relationship is TOTALLY different from being single. You’re still committed to your partner(s) and may be thinking seriously about the long-term with them. While you care a lot about them, you also have agreements based on trust that enjoyment of things like flirtation, dating, or sex isn’t limited to one person for your entire life.

I’ve met people who are very happy in various levels of open/poly relationships. One woman I know is married and loves her husband very much, but she also dates people casually and has a long-term boyfriend whom she loves very much too. Their situation is especially interesting because while SHE dates other people, her husband doesn’t — he is more introverted, but very happy with their marriage, and just doesn’t care to date like she does. Her husband and boyfriend are excellent friends, and they both hang out together with and without her. Everyone’s very happy with the relationship overall, and their key to happiness, much like most people in nonmonagamous relationships, is open and free communication and strict, unadulterated honesty.

Post # 29
Member
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Seems like you care more than a bit. I would focus on your baby not your ex and whatever he is up to. 

Post # 30
Member
1837 posts
Buzzing bee

If the relationship is an open one, it isn’t cheating. Maybe you should mind your own business? I agree with the PP who says to focus on your baby and not your ex and his new relationship. 

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