(Closed) Please critique my vows!

posted 6 years ago in Secular
Post # 3
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Cry Truly truly beautiful, I may borrow a line or so for myself…..he may cry like a baby if you don’t cry first lol. Good job

Post # 4
Member
5009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@RahlyRah:   They’re absolutely gorgeous. The only thing I’d say is that if he says something of a similar length then it might be a bit long.

Post # 6
Member
1024 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

these are awesome. I would get rid of the bit about onion breath though. that killed the mood for me a bit. :p

Post # 7
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

They’re beautiful! I think since you’re ceremony is on the shorter side having longer vows (which are really the most important part, right?!) is totally fine.

Post # 9
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Those are really beautiful. Since you don’t have too much else in the ceremony I don’t necessarily think they are too long. However, you may want to find out how long your fiance’s vows are. If yours are significantly longer than his, then you may consider shortening yours a bit. But I think they are truly heartfelt and beautiful.

Post # 10
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I like how you kept it fun and personal.  So many people right vows that sound just as generic as if they hadn’t.  Good work. 

Post # 12
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Love.

Post # 13
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

They’re perfect. 

Post # 14
Member
367 posts
Helper bee

I think those are awesome!!! The only comment I have would be that the line about the “fun police” seems like a rapid change to being silly, when all your prevous lines have been very serious and earnest. That may have been intentional, so if you want your guests to grin at that point (after wiping tears away during the first few lines), then it’s perfect! However, you could play around with the order of the lines if you’d rather start out or finish off with the sillier bits. I like how you have intermingled seriousness and silliness, and I think your guests will enjoy it.

Also – people might not notice this when you say it, but it is “leeway,” not “lead way.” http://eggcorns.lascribe.net/english/719/leadway/ 🙂

Post # 15
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yay!!! You’re doing them just the way we’re doing ours!!! I’m super excited!  I seriously love your vows.  I got choked up reading them!  I’m also including some silliness/inside jokes in ours that no one but myself and Fiance will understand.  (I promise  to always unintentionally mimic you when you quote movies…(in Snape voice) obviously).

You just made my day.

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