- 8 years ago
- Wedding: April 2012
The low down:
I lost my job at the end of June when my company closed. I’ve been job hunting and everytime people ask me what I’m looking for I say ‘I’ll do anything.’ The reality is, I want a job in my same field or something close, but the market is tight.
After almost a month, a friend got me an interview at a company she works for per diem. It is a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT field and job than anything I’ve done before. My friend warned me the office environment (morale) isn’t the greatest, etc. But an interview was an interview. I know nothing about the field..zip, zilch, nada. But they hired me anyway…because of who I was recommended by.
My gut feeling was not to take the job. The pay wasn’t great but they were willing to get me training which would bump up my salary, etc. The biggest problem was the pressure I was feeling from my husband to have a job. So I took it. But I knew in my heart I wouldn’t be happy.
However…you don’t know if you don’t take the chance…right?
Fast forward about two weeks and I am MISERABLE. I realized in the first 3 days working there that this wasn’t the job for me. The type of work, way the office runs things, people, everything. Everything, everything, everything. This just isn’t a field I am meant to work in.
I’ve been expressing this to those who mean the most to me..my husband, my parents, my best friend…and none of them are (I feel) being supportive. They either ignore my plea for advice or tell me I’m not giving it a chance. I’m not irrational, I know two weeks is NOTHING. But I’m learning to do what my co-workers have been doing for the last 5, 10, 20 years. This isn’t a hump…this is it. And it isn’t for me. Plain and simple.
How long do I let this go on?
I worry about my friend who got me the job getting the brunt of the hate if I up and leave. But, I am also realistic…I am wasting their time and mine. I cry on my way to work, cry at lunch, cry when I get home. I’m just depressed and miserable and it is increased ten-fold by the fact that no one seems to care. Especially my husband. I feel like he is disappointed in me and thinks I don’t try and it is the most desperate feeling ever. No one gives a hoot that I am MISERABLE. That I pray for the building to go on fire, or a toilet to explode, or anything just to get me out of there. It’s my fault, I’m the one not giving it a chance when I (me, who knows myself better than anyone) KNEW I SHOULDN’T TAKE THIS JOB IN THE FIRST PLACE!!
Oh bees, I am so lost…what the heck do I do? :(((((((((((((((