(Closed) Please don’t post our wedding on Facebook….

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What would you do?

    Ask your guests not to post pictures on social media sites?

    Don't say anything?

  • Post # 17
    Member
    1137 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Since you’re having a small wedding, I would just mention it casually to people. That way it doesn’t seem as formal as having something printed or announced, but you make your intentions clear.

    One of the reasons I’m not on facebook is because I don’t really want random people knowing about my personal life unless I choose to share it. I was kinda pissed when I ran into a people who I haven’t talked to since Highschool and they said “I saw pictures of your wedding on facebook. It looked like fun”. Ugh. If I wanted them to see me on my wedding day, I would have stayed in touch with them over the last 10 years….

    Post # 18
    Member
    3176 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    View original reply
    @crayfish: Agreed.

    Unless you tell people “no cameras allowed” chances are your pictures, regardless of what you ask, will wind up on facebook.

    Post # 19
    Member
    491 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Good luck. I would be super thrilled and excited to show off my wedding pictures! I think even if you risk pissing off/offending people when asking them not to post pictures, you’re still gona find people that don’t care or that are just so excited they’ll post them anyways.

    I still think the picture sharing website is a great idea, that way you can have ALL the pictures that everyone has taken. It’s your wedding, so you can do what you want. If you don’t want anyone else taking pictures or posting them — then tell them so. Otherwise, just enjoy your Destination Wedding and don’t worry about it!

    Post # 20
    Member
    26 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I had a friend who did not have a professional photographer, so she asked her guests to take lots of pictures.  I put them in a private facebook album, and shared them with her, and then she freaked out and asked me to take them down, and post them another way.  And I honestly can’t remember whether I did or not, since at that time other websites were such a pain in the neck to access.

    I think it’s fine to ask people to refrain from posting pictures, just try to be classy about it.  I think a card with a photo sharing sight would be really nice, as long as it is easy to post lots of pictures.

    I personally LOVED seeing pictures pop up on Facebook.  I swear, this is crazy, but some of my favorite photos (better than most of our very-good professional pictures) were taken on my sister’s I-Phone, using Instagram.  Hah!

    Good luck!

    Post # 21
    Member
    7295 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    maybe its cuz i had a really small wedding, but no one that attended my Destination Wedding posted pics on facebook. one guest made a “jamaica” album, but no wedding pics were in it. i was quite happy about this, but oddly, a little disappointed too.  i didn’t ask anyone not to post pics, i was just planning to un-tag myself in any i dont like.  and i was hoping people would not post pics because i am saving my pro pics for my AHR.

    Post # 22
    Member
    1041 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I agree that you should just causually ask people since its a smaller wedding and hopefully they respect that. But depending on your guests and how much they are into FB unless you have no cameras allowed some may end up there.

    Post # 23
    Member
    916 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I’m the opposite…when we were on our honeymoon, I kept getting so excited when I would check my email and saw I had been tagged in pictures! It was great getting to see them without having to wait for the professional shots, and (this is super shallow) I loved having pictures of me looking so beautiful and happy right away on facebook (I am sometimes really insecure, and facebook brings out the worst of that in me). 

    If I attended a wedding and the bride asked us not to put any photos on facebook, I would be hurt. If I put a lot of effort into how I looked, bought a new dress, etc, I would want to be able to show that off. If I had a good time with my friends, I would want to show that off, and share those pictures with those friends in the easiest possible way.

    Post # 24
    Member
    1363 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Not an ideal solution: But you can deactivate your facebook. Out of sight, out of mind. (Not that I’m saying you want to forget your wedding. What I mean is, if you don’t see others posting about it, you won’t have a reason to be upset)

    Post # 25
    Member
    186 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I’m not sure if this is helpful, but my photographer, who I thought was awesome, took the worst wedding pictures I’ve ever seen.   The pictures people posted of me on facebook are my saving grace, I’m so thankful others took pictures so that I can have something to remember my day by.

    Post # 26
    Member
    2775 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    View original reply
    @crayfish: Any one person’s wedding is not SO secret/special as to warrant a photo posting ban.

    I agree.  I’ve never quite been able to articulate why I find photo bans off-putting, but it is this implication exactly.

    If the bride was a really private person and not signed up for facebook or other social media sites whatsoever, I would be more understanding, but otherwise, it rubs me the wrong way.

    Post # 27
    Member
    6888 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    You can ask but honestly if a person takes a picture at a wedding said person does have rights to those pictures and can post them if they want to any website.  Personally I thought was nice to see pics of guest pictures from my wedding

    Post # 28
    Member
    4824 posts
    Honey bee

    If someone asked me I would be annoyed because they were my photos that I took for my use. I guess I just don’t really understand why someone would care so much that they would feel the need to ask their guests to refrain from posting them. 

    Post # 29
    Member
    2792 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Although I understand your reasoning to a degree, I don’t agree with it, and I don’t think it’s worth the backlash you may face from bringing this up. I guess I just don’t understand. I LOVED my guest pictures. They were so fun to look at and share, and captured things that our photographer might not have. There were so many candids that I really treasure and they tided us over during our honeymoon before our pro-pics were back!

    This is a joyous occasion in your life – why WOULDN’T you want to share it? If you truly didn’t want to, you would have eloped somewhere alone where there would be no “evidence”… which you are not doing!

    You say that you “love” social networking sites but then are going against the very thing they were created for. I guess I’m just not understanding what the reasoning really is behind it. I guess you’re not a very private person if you’re on the sites to begin with, so is it for fear of an unflattering picture of you? And really what are the chances of there being this terrible awful awkward photo of you up? And if it did come to that, I’d find it easier to ask the person who posted that one photo to please remove it due to its unflattering-ness. And there are so many Facebook settings that you can put in place to ensure that it is not shared beyong your social circle with the world.

    I just think that you’re setting your wedding off on the wrong foot and wrong tone by announcing this. Just my $0.02!

    Post # 30
    Member
    3221 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    i agree with the PP about opening a photobucket or flikr account, where they can share their pictures there. But that still won’t mean they won’t post pictures. 

    Why don’t you want pictures posted?? I know I’ll be SO anxious to see pictures, and that my friends will be the first to post on FB 🙂

    Post # 31
    Member
    4886 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Don’t stress yourself out over this, just let guests do what they want to do and enjoy your day.  I can guarantee your photographer isn’t going to catch awesome photos every single time, so just let the good times roll and see what photos come out of it!

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