Post # 77
My ring is a .55.. I LOVE IT!!!! Before we got engaged he asked me what I was looking for in a ring. I told him the stone clarity and color were pretty important and size really was not. My ring may only be .55 but it is the best in color, clarity and cut. That is what matters to me. He could have gotten me a bigger one but the quality of the diamond would not have been what I have now.
Post # 78
i think this is a very important thread!
@bvig: i agree that rings and diamonds and size become a pissing contest!
remember that diamonds and engagement rings are big business. flashy rings and big stones usually cost more money and that works just fine for the jewelry industry. it’s marketing and unfortunately we are all pretty good at falling for it. the worst part is that we (as a society in general, not anyone specifically here) become part of the problem by expecting big and shiny and expensive rings and are disappointed when we get something else (more meaningful and beautiful). i can’t help but compare it to body image. we all want to be a size 2 but the average woman is much larger than that. where does this expectation come from? marketing!
remember that the average cost of a U.S. diamond engagement ring is more than the annual salary for some people around the world!
alright…i’m steppin’ off the soapbox now.
Post # 79
I’m glad you posted this because I can definitely relate. My ring is a solitaire a little over 2 carats and it’s ridiculous for me to even think about but at one point that didn’t seem big enough to me! I definitely got swept away in the ‘bigger is better’ mentality when we were shopping and it took me a while to get back down to earth. I think it was a mixture of things happening like a knew a ton of girls with bigger stones, we went shopping at tiffany and they kept putting larger stones on my finger, etc. Luckily I snapped back to reality before the proposal. But he was always set on getting me a stone that size, so I thankfully didn’t influence him at all.
Now? I’m experiencing the opposite critisizm you are. ESpecially when we go home to visit one of our families, the ring is perceived as way extravagant and people either don’t comment on i or give an exaggerated “woah, that’s huge!” It kind of hurts, but this thread proves you can’t please everyone and you have to do what’s best for you because at the end of the day it’s just about your love for each other.
Post # 80
Yes! I agree that it’s a pissing contest too. My e-ring’s center stone is over a carat, with total weight of 1.55 or so. But I think all of my married friends have rings that are larger than mine, several of them over 2 carats for the center stone. Of course, I think that’s completely absurd, and I LOVE my ring, but I could tell after we first got engaged what a couple of them were thinking. Whatever. 😛 It’s YOUR ring, it’s a symbol of your FI’s love for you and your marriage-to-be, and that’s all that matters. 🙂
Post # 81
Mine is a half carat as well, but I don’t have ring envy. Don’t get me wrong, when I see big honkin’ diamonds I too am like oooooo so pretty. However I think my ring suits me. Its modest and the style is classic. When I look at my great gma’s ring, which as a very small diamond, I think about how special it must be to her after wearing it for almost 70 years, not any of the material aspects.
Post # 82
@adrndack I don’t think bigger rings are less meaningful… that’s just as bad as saying smaller rings are less meaningful.
Post # 83
I think I may have a double standard with rings and I’m sorry if this offends someone, because I’m just now realizing it. If someone has less than a carat (Like I will, more than likely) I think it’s okay if they’re a little disappointed. But when someone with a ring larger than, say, 1.5 carats starts complaining about how they don’t like their ring, I kind of start thinking they’re a brat. You can say “oh that’s just what I’m used to seeing” but… it’s what I’m used to seeing on my friends, too. I guess I mentall put a limit on how big I’d logically go. Emotionally, sure, it’s a “mine is bigger” contest, but I also know I wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing something that big.
Post # 84
I think it is best to leave room size-wise for an upgrade on an anniversary somewhere down the line. It’s very common to get a smaller stone initially, then swap it out for a more sizeable one when it’s more reasonable for you to afford it. Although I love the look of 1.5 -2 carat stones for my finger, I don’t think I want one larger than around the 1 ct mark for this very reason. And that’s only because I want a solitaire… my future Maid/Matron of Honor has a .55 stone on a 3 stone setting and hers looks perfect.
About the wedding band…can you ask your Fiance if you could design it together? (also very common and somewhat traditional, a girl’s gotta have some say in this stuff after all!!)
Post # 85
My ring is 0.41 carats, round cut, and I LOVES it. Don’t get too stressed out about the size. Sometimes we all feel jealous or resentful, and we can’t help it. The point is to recognize the feelings, address them (like you are doing here), and move on.
If Fiance picked the ring out out for you, ask him what stood out for him about that specific ring that made it special. For example, my Fiance chose the ring on its own because it wouldn’t snag on my latex gloves at work (see the ring here http://www.spencediamonds.com/ring-style-2022). If he bought one that you picked out, but the diamond was simply smaller, I would probably do my best to let it pass. It doesn’t mean he loves you any less (I know you know that though!)
I hope my post didn’t come off as rude or condescending. I really want to keep Wedding Bee a supportive place!
Post # 86
I said the same thing about not wanting a ring bigger than .5 carat because my hands are small. Turns out, the setting my fiance picked out looked weird with the diamond he originally picked out (.75 carat) so he upgraded to a carat for the center stone. i love it because he did it all by himself, but I don’t know if I would have picked out that big a stone for myself… maybe I would have, who knows?
The important part is that YOU like your ring. And i sounds like you do. Don’t worry – it’s only natural to wonder about the size of other people’s rings. We’re only human!
Post # 87
- Wedding: April 2010 - Wyndham Sugar Bay Resort, St. Thomas
In My Humble Opinion, ring envy never goes away! Before I got engaged I found myself checking out every ring I could – women driving next to me in traffic, in line at the grocery store, big rocks, small rocks, etc.
Now that I’m engaged with a diamond on the bigger end of the spectrum, I STILL find myself looking at everyone’s hands. Last night I was hanging out with a friend of mine that has a diamond the same size as mine and it’s a style I’d never go for, but I still couldn’t stop myself from catching a few glimpses.
I think that all engagement rings are beautiful no matter what the size and I would never judge someone for their ring. It’s a symbol of your future together, not of status. Be happy with what you have and know that there are plenty of people like me checking out your bling!
Post # 88
In my first marriage, I had a 2.75 carat diamond. I spent years worrying about losing it, or losing the stone, or having someone mug me to get it, etc. Plus, after watching “Blood Diamond,” I have all sorts of social issues with the focus on diamond engagement rings.
This time, NotFroofy and I agreed not to have engagement rings at all. Our wedding rings are plain gold bands, with no stones at all. And I’m totally thrilled with this state of affairs.
Post # 89
My center stone is .71 and the total weight (I have a micropave setting) is .90. Sometimes I wish for something a touch bigger, not by much, but something closer to 1 carat. Some days I look at it and it does seem a bit small. I understand how you feel. I also get what you are saying about feeling like your Fiance penny pinched. Even though I know this is what he could afford, I sometimes have fleeting moments of envy of girls who’s FI’s took out big loans to get them the big rock. Like I said, fleeting moments, since we definitely don’t need a lot of debt and he is doing it the responsible way. But I think its totally normal to have those feelings!
Post # 90
I have a .5 and at first I felt the same way as you.
I was even more furious with my fiance because he did not consult my gf’s about what I would like for my e-ring. At the time when he bought it he was a student, working full-time. With whatever he made, he doubled his month’s pay and bought the ring. He, also, did studied all of the diamonds and rather than going bigger with less quality, he went smaller with the best quality he can find.
Long story short, for the longest time I wrestled with the thought of how I wanted something else…at the same time, I disliked myself for thinking such a way. We kept going back and forth about if we should upgrade or change the setting. However, I did not want to get rid of the diamond he put his everything into.That was 2 years ago…now we are finally engaged! And I couldn’t be more happy with the ring. He ended up saving up more money and got me a beautiful setting that extenuated my .5 carat diamond. I absolutely love it!!!! Some of my friends have diamonds that are big as my middle finger nail! However, I know that my ring is just as valuable as theirs. No ring is less or more.
So enjoy your ring!! 🙂 I;ve seen huge diamonds with poor quality…even though it is big, there was no shine to it. Although it may be smaller than what you expected, it still outshines many others out there. Also, remember…even the people who have huge diamonds…they always want something better. That is just human nature.
Post # 91
i don’t have a solitaire!
my fiancee bought me a diamond wedding band as my engagement ring because we are both in school and can’t afford expensive stuffs. but i don’t mind, because, despite how little money we had, he insisted on buying a diamond band for me.
so if it makes you feel better, mine is not 0.5ct and not even a solitaire 🙂
congratulations on your engagement! i’m sure your ring looks beautiful on you 🙂