- 8 years ago
- Wedding: January 2015
Personally I’m shocked at how much some people spend on e-rings, and I don’t support the diamond or precious metals industry, mining, at all. My sweetie proposed to me with a pretty necklace, since she had already given me a promise ring (custom-made by a friend in stainless steel) the previous summer.
I don’t feel any less engaged because I got a necklace and not a diamond ring! I am looking forward to my wedding band however, since we will be wearing a matching set and it is a beautiful Celtic knot braid. 🙂
How often do you wear the necklace?
I bet if my dad had worn it at a time I actually remembered and then taken it off it would have bothered me. To me, not wearing his wedding ring and being just as faithful and honest as if he did wear a ring means something to me. I guess it seems easy to stray when you don’t wear a ring because, well, other women might not know you are married. When you dont’ wear a ring, I know other women must hit on him at least once in awhile.
You are definitely not any less engaged! An engagement ring is not a necessity to have to be engaged.
For me and my Fiance, an engagement ring symbolises our love. It shows we are commited to each other for life (and are more commited than being boyfriend and girlfriend), shows our family we are serious about each other (we both have taditions and have quite strict families) and is a symbol to show that we are tied to each other. Everytime I look at my ring I think of my Fiance.
My Fiance also wears an engagement ring. He proposed to me and bought my ring which he designed himself, and then after he proposed, I bought him his own ring (white gold with diamonds). It is extremely important to me that he wears his ring and in my culture I have always known the men to wear engagement rings as women do, which other people in the UK find strange. He would be upset if I didn’t wear mine and I would be upset if he didn’t wear his. However, if he proposed without a ring I would not have minded in the slightest bit because all that matters is that I am going to marry the man I love. Our rings are just a symbol of this and are meant for each other 🙂
my mom didn’t have an e-ring. they’ve been married almost 30 years. they never wore wedding rings either. my dad has allergies and it bothers him, and because he didn’t wear his my mom didn’t wear hers either.
I think many of the traditions and specifics have been already touched on above, but I just wanted to say that to ME, the ring really did symbolize a “seriousness” to our relationship. Plenty of high school boyfriends can say “marry me!” but I feel like it takes a certain amount of hard work and motivation to actually save the money, obtain the ring, and present it to your SO along with the question. I don’t in any way think it’s WRONG to not have a ring… I think all the different ways of going about engagements are amazing and I love how theyre tailored to the couple. But I feel like a ring does symbolize to others that “this is for real!” I could say I was engaged to someone till I was blue in the face, but it never felt real to me until I actually had the ring on my finger.
I think traditionally that the engagment ring was a sign to others that the wearer was “off the market” while the gifting of an expensive piece of jewelry was meant to symbolize that the prospective groom could and would provide for his betrothed.
It dates back to th 15th century when a man presented a woman with a ring as outward sign of their betrothal. It was kind of a red flag to other men that she was promised to someone else and that pursuing her would result in being thrown out of court. Often engagements were quite lengthy because the bride’s family had to provide a dowry, so the ring was necessary to show the world that there was a betrothal. The ring might also have given to the bride in the case of an arranged marriage to show the bride’s family the groom’s ability to provide for their daughter.
Of course none of that is relevant in today’s world. Although, I believe most men do select an e-ring because it is still an outward symbol of their intention to marry the person they give it to. There are even some men who, even though they’ve asked a woman to marry them, do not consider themselves engaged until they have given her an e-ring.
And…let’s not forget that most men love to make their woman smile, and they are almost guaranteed to make her smile with an engagement ring.
@AllShookUp: I appreciate and do understand what you are saying. However I have had the opposite experience: I was proposed to before. Yet even though I did have the whole talk with my parents and did tell a few people about it – I never really felt engaged. My ex wasnt the best boyfriend it turns out. This time with no ring I feel so committed to (for want of a better phrase) and so loved and valued – like never before in my life. It feels real this time. Though I do think that when we finally choose and pay for our wedding rings it might feel even more ‘real’ – maybe 🙂
I would hope someone’s commitment to fidelity is in their heart, character, and actions. Not due to a ring! A ring is not like “anti-cheating protection”. People can never marry, and never wear rings, and never cheat. Or they can never take their ring off and cheat. In my relationship it certainly was not a free for all before we married after all!
Aside from that, in my experience, people will still flirt with those wearing a ring. I have even talked to some men who say more women flirt with them with a ring than ever did without one! Which is why the responsibility to remain faithful lies with the person in the relationship, not on others who may flirt with them or may or may not know (or care) if they are married. Women do flirt with my husband, but who cares? My husband is attractive and a fun person to talk to, I do not blame them as I flirt with him too! I trust him, and I trust him to keep his commitments to me. Whether he is wearing it, or forgot it on the bedside table, or has it on his watchband as his finger was swollen. If I did not, I would never have married him in the first place (or dated him).
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