(Closed) Please explain why you do this

posted 6 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 3
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

@TheSpoons:  I am replying because I want to follow this! Smile

Post # 4
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Yes, people could be more understanding sometimes, but I think people do that b/c they are trying to alert the rest of the hive to a troll, or at least someone who is fake and/or lying.

I don’t know what’s wrong with that- either the poster should be able to clarify, and if they can’t, then the rest of the hive appreciates knowing that the poster is a “fake.”

ETA: not just alert everyone… what’s wrong with asking for clarification? If someone looks like they’re lying, I at least would like to know why.

further ETA: I can’t say that I’ve even seen what you’re talking about much. I’m basing my comments on your example (which I didn’t actually see.)

Post # 5
Member
3775 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

@TheSpoons:  Amen!!!  I HATE when people do this.  It is ugly and mean and totally wrong. 

I have had this done to me several times.  Everyone knows I am not a troll.  I don’t think for a minute that people do this for any other reason that to, well…be a “BEE”.

Post # 6
Member
3120 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think it’s against TOS now, too!  Perhaps these people have too much time on their hands!

Post # 7
Member
5786 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I don’t think I’ve done this but I don’t mind when other people do. I don’t want to waste my time giving advice to someone who is lying (I mean I want to waste my time in general, I AM on weddingbee at work).

Post # 8
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Sometimes a posters history gives you more insight into the situation and since most posters claim to be looking for advice, reading their history can help give better advice. I really don’t see it as a problem at all.

Post # 10
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Mars62312:  Against the TOS? Really? http://www.weddingbee.com/terms-of-use/ 

I just skimmed through them, and I didn’t see anything that seemed to say that. Perhaps it would fall under “harrasment” and so maybe we’re talking about different things, but I don’t see how asking a poster, “hey you said this thing in another thread, so that doesn’t make sense that you’re asking this now” is harrasment. (Did I miss something in the TOS?)

Post # 11
Member
8445 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think in some cases people just get annoyed when they take time to give their opinion or advice, and then it turns out the OP wasn’t telling the truth or omitting important details.

Post # 12
Member
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with pointing out that someone has been inconsistent (or that they’re posting the same responses on multiple threads, which is sometimes the case). It’s not like every thread on here exists in isolation. This is a community, and we get to know each other. We remember each other’s previous posts. And sometimes, we go through and read someone’s previous posts on purpose just to get a better sense of what is going on in what are often long, ongoing conflicts worked out through multiple threads. It actually helps and keeps the OP from having to post the background every single time.

I think the problem you have isn’t so much bringing up other posts, but tone and sensitivity – which some posters could work on, and I may be one of them. But I totally reserve the right to point out to someone that they seem to be posting something that conflicts with a previous post. I don’t like for someone to waste my time. 

Post # 13
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Sometimes, it’s fair to the other posters who put a lot of thought and care into a response and don’t realize they are replying to a completely hypothetical and possibly even unlikely situation.  I remember someone who was on here a while ago and posted about wanting to have a 3 hour Catholic wedding mass in Latin because she thought her guests would be awed by the beauty of it rather than bored to tears.  A lot of people responded, trying to give her advice and telling about their experiences, and then it turned out that the OP hadn’t even met her potential future husband yet.  It would have been very helpful to have known that right away.

Post # 14
Member
3775 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

@Westwood:  In some cases that might be true.  More often it goes like this:

OP’s thread: frustrated with lack of food choices at local grocery store.

someone then posts:  You had a thread last week about changing your will to replace your sibling with your friends as guardians for you children.  They share your values and your sister does not.  Obviously, you think your are better than everyone else and that you are too good for normal food and you think your sister doesn’t measure up cause she believes differently than you.  You are a snob.

Yep, I got to experience that gem on my thread.  Lovely

Post # 16
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think post history is still relevant in those situations. For example, if someone posts several threads about drama with different people, looking at their post history can give you enough insight to say “maybe you are doing something wrong to create some much drama”

The topic ‘Please explain why you do this’ is closed to new replies.

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