- 8 years ago
- Wedding: December 2009
Seeing as though it is a 3:17am, I am an insomniac over my dilemma. My husband and I got married 7 months ago at city hall. My mother and best friend are the only people that know about it…NO ONE ELSE. We married for the obvious reasons, but it also saved us alot of money in health insurance and buying a home (especially since I am in the midst of starting my own company). So anyway, our original plan was to “secretly” get married, and focus on just the legality of it, since I have always dreamed of having a big wedding. Our plan was to throw a big wedding for later this year. We didnt want to tell anyone about the first wedding since we didnt want it to take away from “our big day”, and possibly have people not view the wedding as seriously. This fear of mine took hold of me (along with the fact that friends and family were not there), and on our wedding day I refused any celebration or pictures etc. I guess I just kind of wanted to ignore it so that I didnt miss out on anything later.
I was being completely ignorant!!! I feel like a married woman, and more importantly a happily married woman. I want to tell everyone & be able to call Mr.B my husband in public!!! I no longer want to ignore these past few months of being married. I dont want to lose our wedding anniversary. And I deeply regret not taking a single photo. I never thought that this would bother me this much. Keeping this happiness from the family & friends that I love is killing me.
So…what to do now? Sometimes I am still torn in my mind over not having the wedding I always dreamed of. So my husband recently thought of a compromise… We get all dolled up & go back to city hall to take pictures of where we got hitched. We announce our marriage through an invitation to a vow renewal ceremony & cocktail party (along with city hall pic). We would obviously tell our best friends and immediate family in person first.
The vow renewal allows us to share our love with those closest to us. And it also allows me the opportunity to walk down the aisle with my father. Then dancing, drinks & food for the celebration afterwards. Although we already asked people to be our attendants when we first got engaged, we wouldnt ask anything of them now. No buying dresses, renting tuxes etc.
So here is where I am stuck: is a cocktail party too “cheap”? There will be drinks, food stations & butler passed niblets, but no formal dinner. Is that sufficient? Our budget is tight, but I am feeling like we are cheating our guests. Also- every girl likes a day all about her, so do my best friends/mother still throw me a bridal shower, or in this case a wedding shower? Is that tacky? I dont want to feel like I am fishing for gifts, because that is not the case. But I have been to a zillion bridal showers & think about mine each time. It makes me sad to think that I wont get that, just because we didnt have the financial resources to throw a formal wedding.
This insomniac would appreciate any advice!!!