(Closed) Please help!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

The bride and groom decide who is on the guestlist. You only get married once so it should be of your choosing, no one else’s. If this is bothering you, then you need to stand your ground. Ask your fiance to stand up to his family and tell them that this is your wedding, not theirs.

Post # 4
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

225 isn’t a huge wedding?  I would probably cut the guest list down a lot more so its more across the board about who can and cannot be invited.

Post # 7
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Are you the one paying?  If so, you are in your rights to put your foot down on the number of guests.  Unless they want to come up with money to invite a lot more people, they don’t really have a say in it.

Post # 9
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Your Fiance needs to talk with his family and be real with them. He needs to represent both your interests in the planning and provide them with your reasonings. I think that 225 is a large wedding. Genuinely, I think that you and your Fiance should manage 100% of the guest list and giving his family a third of the list is a gracious gesture.

Post # 10
Member
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - MacLean Park

I think if your family is the one footing the bill, then you (and them) get to set the rules. I think it’s more than fair to have each party involved have an equal amount of guests. So your inlaws have a huge family? Tough cookies! That doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your friends just because your family is smaller. Same goes for your parents. In fact, having a smaller family probably means that you have just as many important people who aren’t blood related, and also need to feel included in the wedding! Stick by your equal grounds, and you should be able to avoid any future flare ups from them. They can’t get all pissy about not getting to invite everyone when you tell them that everybody got the same number, you know?

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