(Closed) PLEASE HELP!!

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2849 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I would tell her that due to venue size restrictions, you can’t accommodate children. You don’t need to say more than that to her. It’s your wedding, so she needs to respect your wishes.

Post # 4
Member
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I would gently inform her that although we would love to have everyone’s kids at the wedding this is just not possible. Let her know the only children that will be there are your own kid and kids that are in the bridal party. Just explain to her that you have very limited room guest list and other guests are not bringing their children because of this. She may be offended and in the end you may have to allow the kiddies, since a mother may not want to leave her children behind at home while she is away, especially if she will be staying one or more nights at destination location. She may not even want to come if the kids are not invited. I would just tell her what your wishes are and then let her decide on her own if she still wants to come without kids, or tries to keep pushing the kids on you. Hope it all works out.

Post # 4
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

Normally I say it is up to you if you want kids there, but since you are having a destination wedding I think that right goes out the window. When someone has to rent a hotel room you should allow their kids to come or provide an alternative for them (IE get a babysitter for them)

I live in the bay area and tahoe is just as much a destination (4 hour drive) as any other place. I would need a multi day babysitter or to find one I do not know in the locale of the wedding.

Post # 5
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Bent Creek Winery (Livermore, California); Reception: Family Residence (San Ramon, California)

@Bichon Frise: Exactly. You should say this, word for word. No need for grand explanations. It’s the truth, and unfortunately, you can’t budge.

Though I will say, be prepared for them to decline to attend your wedding. If you’d rather have them there with their kids than not at all, then I think you should reconsider your position. Just something to think about.

Post # 7
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Be careful if you say only kids in the wedding party are invited, since she’s your FI’s SIL she may feel entitled to butt her kids into your wedding party and that would be even worse!  

I think this doesn’t need to come from you, first of all.  It’s your FI’s SIL, he can be the one to talk to her and explain that it’s an adults-only affair.  You can offer to look for recommended sitters in the area to ease her burden if she plans on being at the hotel perhaps?  I know that’s adding one more task to your to-do list, but this is a tricky situation because of how close she is to Fiance in terms of the family web.

Post # 8
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I normally don’t mind childless weddings, but it feels weird to me when you have kids of your own but want no children. In my last life (lol) I would’ve wanted an adults only wedding, but I have a 2 yo, so I felt weird telling others to leave their kids at home,.kwim? That’s just me though.

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