Post # 1
We have set our date, I have found the perfect dress, but I am having a problem with “Our Guest List”. It is starting to look more like a family Reunion on my side a than a Wedding. My fiance doesn’t even have a bestman!
Here is my problem my Fiance really has no friends or family. My fiance was neglected and terrible mistreated as a child. His mother blamed him for his father leaving when he was 2 years old. He spent most of his childhood alone and is a bit antisocial because of it.
He ran away from home at a young age and dropped out of school at 16. He recieved his G.E.D at 16 and when straight into the work force. He was a loner in High School so no luck at finding any friends there either. Despite all of this he is a wonderful man with a heart of pure gold that works 6 days a week and always puts our family first.
He does have a Aunt and Uncle in our area that he has not spoken to in years. But he remembers them very warmly. I think it is because he has a small fear of rejection.
My question Dear Bee’s should I send them an invite to our engagment party with out telling him? If they don’t respond then there is no need for him to feel rejected. I can’t imagine my Wedding Day with me surrounded by my friends and family and for him to have no one there for him. Should I or Shouldn’t I?
Post # 3
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
I would send the invite and see what kind of reception you have– if they are the way he remembers, great– if they’re not, there’s no harm to him. What about work friends?
Post # 4
@ashasmith: It may sound weird but totally send one, and if they come awesome, if they decline just don’t say anything.
But tell him its HIS family too now! 😀
Best of luck!
Post # 5
But he really doesn’t socialize at work b/c he is a bit antisocial. His mentality is that work is for work not making friends. I don’t think he has said more that 2 words to his boss since he started working there 8 years ago. The last words he probaby said were Merry Christmas or Thank you for the huge X-mas bonus he gave him last X-mas. His Boss is a wonderful man with a great sense of humor. I am sure he would come but this is a very personal event and he is very professional at work.
Post # 6
@ashasmith: I’m going to have to disagree – I think it’s his choice who he wants to invite from his side. I understand the idea of inviting them w/o his knowledge but it’s still dishonest (despite very good intentions – don’t get me wrong – I’m not being snarky). Just trying to look at this from his perspective…
Post # 7
I would talk to him about it. Let him decide what to do.
Post # 8
But he does have a family- your family. Sometimes it is the family you pick and not born into that is truly your family.
Post # 9
I would ask him as if they do respond and turn up it will be a big shock and sometimes people dont like these kind of surprises. Maybe you could contact them for him(if he wants you too) not about the engagment but in a general way, then if it works out invite them. It might be best to meet them before the engagement not at it.