Post # 1
Ok so I was planning our wedding and got so much input on what should happen and it got so overwhelming. Well the part that did was that its a short engagement like we wanted. But Future Mother-In-Law was making so many decisions for us. It is both of our second marriage and we are merging families. We have a total of six kids Including one togetheWeil also have a huge family (14 aunts and uncles) and she wants us to have a small wedding to save money. Small wedding = big family, a reception and dance after I don’t get it. and we weren’t going to have a honeymoon to save on costs. So we thought about just eloping and do what we wanted. I already found a place that we would go. Yeah I guess that sounds selfish but we do have six kids and my sister and her kids are staying with us. So I want that relaxation and non stress of planning a wedding. But now whewhee mentioned it to a co-worker what we wanted to do He says it will break his moms heart since she was so excited. Now I don’t know what to do. PLEASE HELP!!!!
Post # 3
Oh man… I would say to do what you and your Fiance want. I know that family is a big (well, huge) part of your life, but you need to be able to come out of the wedding without too much debt.
Post # 4
Who’s paying for the wedding? If Future Mother-In-Law is paying for it and you’re not contributing, then she gets a much larger say in the decisions. If you two are paying for it yourselves, then you’ve got a lot more control over this situation. Sounds like he doesn’t want to elope, which is fair – it’s not for everyone. Assuming you’re paying for things, stop involving her in every decision you make. She doesn’t need all the details. If she attacks your choices, just smile and say ‘oh, thank you for your input’, and ignore her. Another tactic I’ve used is give her selective choices. For example, if you’re looking at bouquets, narrow it to your top few, and then ask her opinion. She’ll feel involved, and you’ll still get what you want.
Another option is doing a Destination Wedding, and paying for immediate family to go with. It’s pricey, but less so than a large, traditional wedding. There’s a lot of resorts out there that take care of 99% of the planning for you, all you have to do is show up in a pretty dress. That way, the most important people will be there, and you’ll get a honeymoon.
Post # 5
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@jatobe: Second wedding means Future Mother-In-Law already had the chance to see her son have the traditional wedding so you two should be in the clear to elope. I would just plan to elope with the kids and then throw a backyard party to tell everyone when you get home. So much less stressful!
Post # 6
*** he told his co-worker that we wanted to just elope and his co-worker said it will brake her heart if we do. We are paying for the wedding. We liked the idea of going away also. We did not have rings yet and was asking everyone’s blessing and when we mentioned it to his mom she was if she would help with the rings and ended up buying them without even saying anything to us. After that she has made decisions about tux, cake topper, long sleeve wedding dress for a summer wedding (she gave us a wedding dress that his uncle bought that was never used 10 years ago). Help is good but it’s our wedding not anyone else’s.
Post # 7
@jatobe: Eloping isn’t selfish!
Post # 9
- Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC
Elope and then as a peace offering you could ask your Future Mother-In-Law if she would throw you a little celebration party when you get back. That way she still feels like shes a part of everything.