(Closed) Please help! A few questions on addressing invites…

posted 9 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009 - St. Thomas of Villanova Church & the F.U.E.L. House

We didn’t do inner envelopes, and wrote "and Guest" for anyone who’s getting a plus-one.

I think you can do whatever you want for your inner envelopes!  It’s your wedding, not Miss Manners’s!

Post # 4
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I would say alphabetize. The reason they so it like that is so that it gets rid of the whole feminist struggle of always putting the woman’s name last. Of course, you can put the name of the person you know best first if you’d rather, as that makes sense to you. But I just figured I’d explain why you alphabetize.

I’ve always seen it written as "and Guest", so that you let people know that they can bring a +1. Otherwise, it’s considered a breach of etiquette if they ask if they can bring one. Or, you could always include on the RSVP cards "single guests may bring a friend", or something of the like.

I’ve seen inner envelopes addressed with the first names only.

You can add "and family" if you want, but if the kids are over 18, they should receive their own invite, ESPECIALLY if they don’t live with their parents.

Post # 5
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

1. Etiquette is meant to be used as a guide, and it is up to you to tailor the rules to your personal situation.  It makes the most sense to list your dad’s name before his fiancee’s name.

2. It is ideal to find the name of your guest’s "guest" and to use it on the envelope.  But if you are inviting a single friend with a plus-one of his or her choosing, then using guest is fine.  Write "Sue and Guest" on the inner envelope, and if you’re only using outer envelopes, then write Ms. Sue Jones and Guest.  Again, practicality should overrule etiquette here. 

3. Your inner envelope is your chance to personalize your invitation.  So if you write Mr. and Mrs. Jones on the outer, write Bob and Sue on the inner.

4.  Do the children live at home with their parents?  If so, the outer envelope can say The Jones Family and on the inner envelope, write out each family member’s name.  If the children live on their own and you have their addresses, send them each their own invitation, but don’t include "and guest." 

In the end, always go with your gut and do what makes the most sense for your personal situation! 


Post # 7
14 posts
  • Wedding: June 2010

I am a calligrapher and your questions are good and as most folks say….

it’s your wedding! Do what suits you.

I truly believe in the thinking that is putting the one you know best listed first… especially your father!
Inner envelopes should always just be

Mr. and Mrs. Jones (no first names are needed)

You can do them informally if you like thought the above is the proper formal way.
Informally would be listing them by their first names

Bob and Marge

It is pretty much necessary to add "and Guest" to ones whom you wish to bring an extra person and to leave it off of those whom you wish to not be able to bring one! It is the only way your guests will know if they are permitted to invite a guest. So you are right about that!

As for kids 18+ should always have their own invite. If you are doing all formally the inner would just say

Mr. Jones 

if he is permitted to bring guess

Mr. Jones and Guest

If you wish to be informal

Bob and Guest

Children are listed under their parents names who are under 18

Mr. and Mrs. Jones

Bob, Mary and Hank

(try to list oldest to youngest where you know them)

That’s about it! That’s from 24 years experience in the calligraphy field!
I always tell folks, here is the "proper formal" way…

now it’s YOUR wedding! Do what you wish!
Happy Planning!

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