(Closed) Please help ASAP bees, critique my MOH Speech!!

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 4
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

That’s a very sweet speech!  The only things I might change are changing 9/10 and 1/10 to 90% and 10%. 

Orneryness also seems like kind of an odd word.  I’d worry a little that 1) people don’t know what it means and 2) it would be very easy to have a nervous slip of the tongue or be heard as “horniness” if you’re speaking too fast. 

Post # 6
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Haha, I slipped up a biology presentation by saying “orgasms” instead of “organisms” and nearly died in highschool, so I’m always on the look out for words that are easy to stumble over and sound dirty!

How about something like “only because our moms forced us to spend some time at our own houses”?  “being separated” sounds like you fought all the time… Unless that is exactly why you were separated?

Post # 9
Hostess
23602 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

It’s a beautiful speech!  Rock it, girl!

Post # 10
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

It’s sweet and touching and a nice length.  I think she’ll love it!

Post # 11
Member
2951 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i think it sounds amazing but i would change a few or add more life experiences throughout…. it sounds like all your memories are just as kids πŸ˜‰

change it to 90% of the time…..

and what the other bees said! “spend time at our own houses, ornriness etc”
other than that… awesome!!!!

Post # 13
Hostess
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

As a recent bride, might I suggest you adding in a bit more about the bride and groom’s relationship? Ultimately, that’s what the day is about. I know it’s fun to reminisce about the times you had when you were younger, and that part is perfectly fine, but could you bolster the latter half and talk more about what their wedding day means to them as a couple? Just a thought. πŸ™‚

Post # 14
Hostess
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Also, not to be too picky, but if it were me, I’d adapt the last line to say, “To Bride & Groom and their wonderful future together” or something like that. πŸ™‚

Post # 15
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Very great speech! I like how you incorporated the details (such as the poodle perms, lol)…but I agree with PP’s about incorporating a little more about the bride & groom as a whole, since it is their day πŸ™‚  But you def got me a little choked up reading it, so work well done! hehe

Post # 16
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I think it is great, but would also do percents and also change the orneriness. Other than that, rock it!!

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