(Closed) PLEASE HELP!! – Asking Friends to Be Bridesmaids

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 4
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014


Post # 5
32 posts
  • Wedding: May 2013

Here is what I did… I hand made them all with a little scrapbook paper some stickers and markers. 


They say…

All I ask is that you

Go dress shopping with me

Help me plan and keep my sanity

Remind me to have a good time

And wish me well after I say “I do” (this one has two palm trees and I drew a hamock between them)


Good Luck

Post # 6
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

That’s so sweet that you want to do something nice for your bridesmaids!  You sound like a good friend. Since you don’t have much experience with bridal parties (this can be a good thing!), I just wanted to make a couple of suggestions as you start to navigate these new relationships:

– Decide for yourself what kind of pre-wedding involvement you are hoping/expecting the girls to have and ask friends if it’s reasonable.  The weekly wedding help and even dress fitting attendance that we see on tv is rare and usually over the top.

– Read some of the “drama” posts that brides/bridesmaids have written about each other here and read the comments.  Often the bride had the tv-style expectations and it was causing a lot of friction.  The bees usually give pretty sensible advice and perspective.  So you can get the advice and avoid the drama!

– Bridal parties don’t have to have even numbers with the grooms!  If you really want that extra friend to be involved because you’re close, then ask her. One groomsman can escort 2 women (and he’ll probably have a big smile on his face too).

Congrats on your engagement!

Post # 7
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

This is what I did!  There was a little note inside that said:

“Now it’s my turn to POP the question! Will you be my bridesmaid?”

Post # 8
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

bump 🙂

Post # 10
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

These are all great ideas!  I actually just bought these to send in a box with a little note that says “I said yes, now its your turn. Will you be my bridesmaid?” And they were under $3 each.



Post # 12
3667 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

@Taylor25:  My responses will be focused entirely on the practical, and I think you are interested in emo girly-girl stuff. Whatever.

Given the number of times people here complain about what their bridemaids are not doing for them, I think that you need to be very clear in your invitation what your expectations are. Being a bridesmaid is kind of a mix of job appopintment and friend annoitment.

Be clear in your mind what you expect. Can you convey that?

Personally, I’d keep my expectations to a minimum such as: she will buy a dress (unless you are paying for that) she will show up at the church for a rehersal and you invite her to dinner afterwards; she will show up at the church for the wedding and attend the reception afterwards.

That job seems pretty basic, but if you expect more, you may need to articulate it.

edited to add: I see that someone else said pretty much the same thing (physicsbride–Leave it to a science chick for practical info!) Gads, I’m glad that I’m not the only killjoy. haha, kidding. 


Post # 13
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

View original reply
@FauxPas2012:  I’d tend to agree with this.  I’ve often wondered if girls feel more obligated to say yes to being a bridesmaid when they are asked with a thoughtful gift.  It feels like less of a question when done that way.  What about asking them in person or on the phone and giving them time to respond?  Then when they say yes, you can still do the same gift, but with a twist: “I can’t say I do without my girls!  Thanks for being my bridesmaid!”

Post # 14
2293 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I made cards similar to these (link to Etsy, not my shop) and wrote a note inside telling them how much it would mean to me, then mailed them. They loved them! One of my bridesmaids cried, the other made me a super cute hand-made card and sent it back. I just asked my Maid/Matron of Honor face to face because we were talking and I realized I needed to clue her in for the conversation to make sense.

These were great for my girls. They might have felt a kit was a little over the top and it just wasn’t “me” with how “cute” some of the ideas are. I’m a little more sarcastic. Plus, I wasn’t 100% sure they were going to be able to accept due to other obligations in their lives, so I wanted them to be able to think it over before having to give me an answer.

My cards said “You’ll Wear it Again (Let’s Be Serious)” and “You’ll Wear it Again (Okay, Maybe Not)” – the Let’s Be Serious was to a girl who gets my sense of humor a little more, I didn’t want it to be confusing for the other one (future SIL).

Then the inside said “Will you be my bridesmaid?”

Post # 16
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Franklin Plaza


I didn’t do bridesmaid boxes, but I can share what I did for a different idea.

My ladies and I all live quite a distance from one another, so I wasn’t able to ask them in person.

All four of us were roommates in college and did everything together.  I ended up making a slideshow using kizoa.com with tons of pictures of the four of us and made up a poem about memories we all shared to go along with the pictures.  I then emailed it to them and waited for responses.  They all LOVED it and said it made them cry.  

Then, I was actually able to see them at my engagement party.  I got cute photo albums in my wedding color and made each girl an album.  I did about 50 pictures per album and left the other half blank.  I included a card with each album that said:

We had some of the best times, in college it’s true

And so I’ve included those pictures of me and you.

Already so many memories we’ve made,

But I look forward to many more exciting days

And so I give you the pictures of us two,

But leave you room for some from the day I say, “I Do”


It was something like that.  I forgot to save it, but you get the general idea.


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