(Closed) Please Help Bachelorette Party Etiquette

posted 11 years ago in Parties
Post # 11
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I think you can only expect the Bride to help contribute to her cost if she’s on-board with the plan and/or it was her idea.  You can’t plan some extravagant party and then ask her to pay her way, you know?

My husband just got back from a 5-day Bachelor Party to Chicago and they six guys paid for everything and the groom wasn’t expected to pay a dime.  I think he ended up contributing to food and drinks at some point, only because he wanted to.  They each spent like $500 or something.

I’m also the Maid/Matron of Honor planning a NYC weekend for a bachelorette party and I don’t expect the Bride to pay anything.  I’ve been very upfront with all the girls invited on the costs and have limited our outings to things THEY are willing to pay for and contribute to for the bride.  The bride shouldn’t have to pay a dime, especially if she’s not in on the plans.

Post # 12
Member
2774 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Before the Maid/Matron of Honor gets too deep into planning an extravagant event, all of the bridesmaids need to get together to discuss budget.  I was just in a wedding where a semi-destination bachelorette party was planned (no airfare but a weekend at a hotel) and everyone was on board with splitting the cost five ways until numbers were crunched.  One by one, after things were booked, girls started dropping out.  This, in turn, made costs increase for those of us who were still participating.  It was a mess.

Post # 13
Member
3563 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think my Maid/Matron of Honor is planning a “destination” bachelorette (might be like AC for the weekend) and I’m planning on paying my own way. I don’t think they should have to pay for everything (although I am expecting free drinks!).

Post # 14
Member
2680 posts
Sugar bee

I think for any bachelorette party the bride shouldnt have to pay for anything.  So that would leave you paying for your trip and the best option would be to split the cost of the bride going between all the other girls who are going.  However, is it the Brides decision or the MOH’s decision to do the destination party?  Thats REALLY expensive so if its the Brides choice I dont think she should expect people to pay for her other than to take care of a night or something.

Post # 15
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee

Yes you should get into contact with the Maid/Matron of Honor and see if all the bridal party can coordinate and figure out details for the bachelorette party. Since it will be pretty pricey to do this you all need to have a plan of action and budget.

Seeing that this is a destination bachelorette where costs are going to run high, I don’t think the bridal party should be responsible for paying for bride’s entire way. Personally I would not want my friends to contribute anything, just their presence and agreeing to go is enough for me. However, if you really want to contribute maybe you can chip in for one aspect of the trip. For instance, split the cost for her airfare or hotel… possibly a spa day or a really nice bachelorette dinner.. That would be something nice you all could do.

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