Post # 17
If I’m understanding, you both live with your respective parents now? I think it would be kind of crazy to buy your very first place you live in outside of their house anyway! You should rent, see what you like, don’t like, can live with, can’t stand, on your own, before making a huge financial commitment. We are renting and have been for years, probably will for another 3 or so. In our area, houses are just super expensive so there is very little financial upside to buying. What’s nice for us is we can move to bigger places as we need them with relatively little hassle, where if we had bought a 1 bed, we would definitely need to move so, sell, buy, all that jazz.
I do think there is some validity to saying if you can’t afford a place of your own (as a couple), whether rented or purchased, perhaps you aren’t ready to get married. But no reason you would need to buy something to be ready.
Post # 18
I couldn’t possibly disagree with the statement that your friends/family have made more. We’ve rented together for a total of 7 years now and are about another year out from being able to buy a house. We have good jobs and life a comfortable lifestyle but saving a 20% down payment is easier said than done. I know very few people who immediately purchased a house right after getting married. Almost everyone in my life has rented at some point and most have done so for years before buying. Seriously, don’t listen to these people.
As for “throwing away money”, I HATE when people say that. You’re paying for a roof over your head with no maintenance. As much as I can’t wait to be a homeowner, I’m dreading having to be responsible for upkeep. If our appliances break or the roof leaks we call maintenance and they fix it free of charge. That luxury is gone when you own. Sure, it’s YOUR house which is great, but owning a home right away is absolutely not necessary. Only recently did either of us even want to buy a house. We’ve been more than content in our rental (which honestly is nicer than most of the homes that our family members own) and would be fine here for many more years if we didn’t have the desire for the “American dream”.
Post # 19
Boyfriend or Best Friend owned a house before I met him. We live in his house. I had to move in because I took a pay cut at work and couldn’t afford my apartment and school anymore so I either had to give up my apartment or quit school. I was considering moving back in with my parents, then Boyfriend or Best Friend suggested I move in with him.
Post # 20
@sommertime: I live in the metro NY area so it is very common to rent before buying a house–I have heard that whole throwing your $ away argument and it is bs–you want to be in love with your first house and how can you have a clear idea of what you want if you’ve never lived away from home? Unless an amazing opportunity comes up you should rent while looking for your dream home–planning a marriage is stressful enough, why add buying a house to that?
Post # 21
Thank you for all of your replies so far! They have been very very helpful 🙂
Post # 22
We were planning to buy a house ASAP, but changed our minds. We have enough (but barely) for a down payment, but it seems safer to have keep cushion to pay our rent should one of us be out of work.
Post # 23
Real estate is just one of the many types of investment you can make. Others include investing in stocks, bonds, mutual funds, etc.
To say that buying a house is a prerequisite for marriage is the same as saying “everyone should have $10,000 in stocks or you aren’t ready to get married.” It’s silly- everyone’s financial situation is going to be different and therefore their investment strategies are going to be different. Some people have a lot in stocks, others in savings accounts, others in a house, etc.
Perhaps you can buy, or borrow from your library, some books for young couples starting out financially. I have “Investing from Scratch,” a guide for young adults, and it’s great. It lays out when and why some people should buy a house and why that’s not always the best investment for everyone.
Post # 24
So you both still live at home?
Rent for the experience of paying your own bills, cooking for yourselves, just the everyday things. Rent so that you have a fixed monthly cost and someone to call to fix the problems when (not if, when) something breaks. Rent to not add lawncare to your to-do list. Rent to give yourself time to figure out where you want to put roots down and what you want as a couple. Rent to give yourself and your Fiance time to grow as a couple. Living together is way different than not.
Home ownership has many responsibilities and is a huge leap to make. Good luck!
Post # 25
@PinkPinstripes: Just had to say – AMEN! Everything she said times 10. Said it way better than I did.
Post # 26
@indiblue: Thanks, that’s a good idea to get some books on the topic. I’ll look into it 🙂
@PinkPinstripes: My Fiance and I both live in our own apartments right now (not in the parent’s house), but separately because we don’t want to move in together until we are married. So we are quite familiar with handling living on our own, cooking for ourselves, etc. 🙂 We could afford to rent when we are married but just not buy a house yet 🙂
Post # 27
grr, one of my biggest pet peeves is when people preach about how horrible renting is! if you have the money, sure, buying is great. but renting isn’t the end of the world! it took me a long time to come to grips with that – Darling Husband and I have rented together for almost 4 years now, we were married last summer. we have no plans to buy right now – perhaps in the next 2-3 years.
I say make a list of pros and cons of both (that are realistic to you both, not just what you’d like) and make the decision together. don’t worry too much about what friends/family/etc will think of either decision 🙂
Post # 28
It is not uncommon at all! Getting married and buying a house are two very different things! Setting a date for the wedding depends on your financial and emotional state. Buying a house is financial only. Although it seems like it is impossible to afford both, I believe it can be done if one is altered accordingly.. Like buying a more expensive home and having a more low bugdet wedding (or vice versa).
Fiance and I have been saving like crazy for the last year and have just bought our first home together! Fortunately we both live at home so we were able to save majority of our incomes and we have gotten to the stage of our relationship where we “need” to live together. We have had enough of our crazy families 😛 In all honesty our families are very supportive but we feel old enough to ‘leave the nest’ haha.
So the way we look at it is we move into our new home and continue working/studying…. then during that time I will graduate and have a way better job so we will be even more finaicially stable and hopefully have enough for our wedding.
I guess what I am trying to say is that every couple is different and all relationships are made up differently.. We have made the decision to buy a house now and get married in 2 years time… however that won’t be the best scenario for another couple. Just do what works best for you guys and don’t stress over what other people think. If you do things to make other people happy.. YOU will never be happy 🙂
Post # 29
@sorrycharlie: Thanks for the advice 🙂
@kfiorita: Wow, it must be really cool to have your own house! Congrats! I know what you mean with trying not to stress about what others think. It’s hard to overcome, especially when those opinions are condenscending and judgemental. Very frustrating. But…we’ll figure out what’s right for us and stand by it 🙂
Post # 30
We are currently renting and plan to for a while after we’re married.
Post # 31
Fiance bought a house for us before we got engaged. I was getting ready to start school so I didn’t contribute financially, so it’s in his name, but still “our” house. Once we get married and I finish school (which won’t happen if I don’t get off the bee and work on my final due tomorrow) I will start kicking in on the mortgage and plan to get my name on the title of the house.
So our situation is probably somewhat unusual, but there are lots of variables involved, and no one “right” decision for everyone!