(Closed) Please help – do I suggest a BM bow out?

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
3124 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

if you give her the out, but not like you are kicking her out, she can make an informed decision for herself.. but give her a deadline, because you don’t want to be surprised too late in the game. I think that if asked gently, it’ll be appreciated.

Post # 4
1565 posts
Bumble bee

You should definitely ask – just frame it like you’re helping her, not kicking her out. (“I understand you’re really stressed and busy – it might be very difficult for you to be able to [insert responsibilities and deadlines here]. I wouldn’t be at all offended if you weren’t able to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man.”) That way, you make it clear that she needs to do certain things to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man and offer her an out in case she can’t.  

Post # 5
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I agree with GIrlWithARing- let her know that you understand if this might be too much for her to handle at this time with everything that she has going on. As a bridesmaid you do need for her to do her part, but if it just isn’t the right time then you’re willing to let her decide. 

i feel like I’ve already had a little bit of this early on with my MOHs and so I spoke with them individually and just had a heart-to-heart. Being that this was their first time they were clueless as to how involved they should be, but after communicating everything we’re all on the same page now. 

Hope things turn around- with everything going on this is one of the last things I like to be stressing about. 

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