- 7 years ago
- Wedding: May 2015
@nobodyinparticular: Um, he has treated you like crap the whole way through. No one who can love the way you want and need to be loved would treat their significant other that way. I’m sorry to have to say this, but he has been using you, and doesn’t love you and never has. He is very immature and caught up in being unconventional for the sake of being unconventional, and that, from what you’ve said, is not the way you are nor what you want from a relationship. I was with someone who was kind of like that for a while. It sucked and didn’t last long, and I’m so glad I didn’t hang on!
The way he said and did all this: “But he said that my point of view was unimaginative and conventional. He said he didn’t know who he would choose. He said that she shared his beliefs. That marriage might work with her. The way he described her, I didn’t even know why he was wasting time with me. I felt like crap. Also, I was only twenty, and he was thirty and so experienced, I felt like he could have been more gentle with me about this stuff.” That right there tells me that he is enamoured of breaking the mold just for some weird philosphical satisfaction. Immature and unhealthy and SO ARROGANT. And the many incidents of him making excuses for hanging onto that other woman while still hanging onto you too– I think they chalk up to be emotional abuse. Especially how you describe his way of “saying how much he loves you” by comparing how he feels about you to how he felt about her. Terrible!!! I’m so, so sorry you’ve had to go through such degrading and soul-sucking things from someone you care about.
Please, leave him right away and seek counseling to help you separate from him and improve your self-esteem. This man is not capable of giving you what you are looking for and need, and by the sound of it never will be.