- 2 years ago
I know how horrible this sounds. I wouldn’t let myself actually do something, I really LOVE my fiancé, we’ve been together for 4 years, I’m attracted to him, into him, best friends with him. I want to only love and spend with rest of my life with him. He’s everything great wrapped into one package. We definitely still have a “spark” and our sex life is great. We’ve been engaged for 6 months now and unfortunately our wedding is postponed.
I have this mental thing going on with this guy I’m friends with since before my fiancé. I’ve known him for years. He’s not someone I would ever want to date, we have nothing in common and we’re very different people, almost opposites, but we’re good friends. He had a crush on me in school, and I thought it was just kid stuff. I moved away for a couple years and then came back, we met back up. He finally told me he wanted to give us a shot right and I said no.
I’m not even his type anyway, I think he was just infatuated because of all the years he had a crush on me. I didn’t want it to ruin our friendship, and we had completely different goals and what we wanted out of life.
I hate to say it, but he’s not the kind of guy you bring home to meet your parents or marry (he doesn’t even want to get married anyway). I know that sounds really judgmental, it’s the only way I can describe him.
Anyway, he kind of pulled away and became distant. Starting seeing other girlfriends, I lived my life with my now fiancé.
But we met back up because we work at the same place.
I just can’t stop thinking about him, it’s multiple times a day I don’t know why. He’s not my type at all. I don’t necessarily even want to have sex with him, I fantasize about him slowly grabbing me and making out with him. Over and over. I dream about it even. I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with me or what to do.
I just feel and extreme amount of sexual tension between us.
I wouldn’t even date this guy if I was single. But I keep imagining how his lips would feel or how his hands would feel and it’s killing me. He complemented that I looked really pretty the other day and my stomach did flips.
I’m at my wits end here. I can’t tell my fiancé, I can’t even tell any of my friends. I know I should end the friendship but I really don’t want to. This has never happened to me before. I feel like I’m slowly losing my mind.