Post # 1
I’ve been with my boyfriend for a couple years now, the thing is he told me a year ago that he would propose within the next year… Well I’m still waiting. I haven’t brought up marriage for atleast eight months now but we have had talks about what we see in our future and how we would like to spend it together. I don’t know if I should just continue to keep quiet, or find a gentle way to bring up the topic. I feel as though he has gotten so comfortable with our relationship that maybe he thinks there’s no need to get married. We live like a married couple, share finances and everything. We did move in together rather quickly, after dating for only a couple months, but life circumstances didn’t leave us many other options at that time. I love him with all my heart and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I guess the other thing is he is 12 years older then me, and I’d love to have kids sooner then later but I’ve always believed in marriage before children. Advice please
Post # 3
Yes, you say “I’d like to check in with you and see what your thoughts were about our future. Ideally, I’d like to have that conversation within the next couple of weeks, but I wanted to give you a head up so you can think about where you stand. I know we haven’t talked about solidifying our future in several months, and I wanted to just make sure we are on the same page”.
His REACTION to that will tell you everything you need to know.
In My Humble Opinion I would approach this asking where HIS head is….. rather than telling him where your heart is. Slightly different perspective, but will give YOU the ability to then make a decision rather than an ultimatum.
Post # 4
Well said and good advice!
Post # 5
Thank you, I will give it a shot and see what happens
Post # 6
It’s your life and your relationship, too. It isn’t your job to tip toe around and secretly hope and pray that he does what you want. It’s your job to step up to your 50% of the relationship and guide the process as you want it! Talk to the man! He probably doesn’t even realize a year has passed.
Post # 7
@PixieDustXo: You need to talk to him about this.
As I always say, if you can’t discuss marriage, your relationship probably isn’t ready for it. You’re probably right about him just getting comfortable.
I don’t think it counts as nagging if you haven’t asked for 8 months 🙂
Post # 8
Men have very different timelines. For me “soon”==”a week”, for my Darling Husband “soon”=6-8months. If he says something needs 15 minutes, it will take an hour. I think a gentle, honest talk might be an order discussing the future.
Post # 9
@Rusalka: That’s so true!!
Post # 10
Valid point… Thank you. I’m definitely going to have to have a talk with him ASAP.