(Closed) Please help… I don't know what to do

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Yes, you say “I’d like to check in with you and see what your thoughts were about our future.  Ideally, I’d like to have that conversation within the next couple of weeks, but I wanted to give you a head up so you can think about where you stand.  I know we haven’t talked about solidifying our future in several months, and I wanted to just make sure we are on the same page”.

His REACTION to that will tell you everything you need to know. 

In My Humble Opinion I would approach this asking where HIS head is….. rather than telling him where your heart is.  Slightly different perspective, but will give YOU the ability to then make a decision rather than an ultimatum.

Good Luck!

Post # 6
Member
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

It’s your life and your relationship, too. It isn’t your job to tip toe around and secretly hope and pray that he does what you want. It’s your job to step up to your 50% of the relationship and guide the process as you want it! Talk to the man! He probably doesn’t even realize a year has passed.

Post # 7
Member
8041 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@PixieDustXo:  You need to talk to him about this.

As I always say, if you can’t discuss marriage, your relationship probably isn’t ready for it. You’re probably right about him just getting comfortable.

I don’t think it counts as nagging if you haven’t asked for 8 months 🙂

Post # 8
Member
684 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

Men have very different timelines. For me “soon”==”a week”, for my Darling Husband “soon”=6-8months. If he says something needs 15 minutes, it will take an hour. I think a gentle, honest talk might be an order discussing the future.

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