(Closed) Please help! I don’t want my wedding!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@coffeegal85:  Follow your gut lady! Cancel if you need to. If you feel that you can’t (too much money invested already) then hire yourself a wedding planner. If you get the right one they will take everything over and you can just make choices from there research, or just chose to let them make the decisions.

Post # 4
Member
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

A wedding planner maybe??! Or just elope

Post # 5
Member
1925 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

It really sounds like you reallllly don’t want a wedding.  If this is an on-going hate for you, then simply don’t have one ๐Ÿ™‚  One word: Elope ๐Ÿ™‚

Edit: What does your Fiance think about all of it?

Post # 6
Member
7291 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

E to the L to the O to the P to the E  ๐Ÿ™‚

You will have nothing but regret if you let others dictate your day.

Post # 7
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee

if you don’t want it, don’t do it!

if it isn’t going to make you happy, don’t do it!

if you are going to ask your self 3 weeks later why you spend your money on one day instead of on the rest of your life… then don’t do it!

I can not reiterate that enough!

There is no crime in having a small wedding with some close family friends and taking your family to a nice resturant afterwards. The bottom line in that your family isn’t going to pay and plan and go through the stress of throwing a wedding, they just get to go to the party, so of course they want to go all out.

Granted this is just my view on the matter becuase it is what I did, but don’t do something you are going to end up resenting. Get a dress from Macy’s that makes you feel lovely and march your Fiance down to the courthouse and just be done with it.

Post # 9
Member
1925 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@coffeegal85:  It sounds like if your Fiance wants the big wedding, then really should be stepping up his game with wedding decision making.  After he gets back from being away on business, I think you should have a real, honest conversation about what you want from the wedding and what he wants from the wedding.  Then divvy up the tasks accordingly.  Just because you’re a woman doesn’t mean that it’s automatically your job to plan the wedding!!  

If in my relationship I wanted to elope and my Fiance wanted the big wedding, you better bet he’d be planning the wedding!!

Post # 12
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

If Fiance is the one who wants the big wedding, I’d say to tell him that he has to take at least an equal share in planning it.  If he’s insisting on it but then dumping it all on you, it’s time to reevaluate this relationship.

“As for the wedding planner, she isn’t going to tie the ribbon on the bubbles or faux-calligraphy the envelopes or the stuff of the invitations or create the place cards, etc.”

Yes, but perhaps those things don’t need doing at all, or perhaps you can pay someone else to do them.  Skip the bubbles, and send the envelopes, invitations, and place cards out to someone who will write out the addresses and place cards and stuff the invitations.  A wedding planner should be able to recommend someone that can do all this.

Post # 13
Member
2414 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

The stress of paying for our wedding has made me hate planning it, it just isn’t fun. However, if its not something you want, then follow your heart!

Post # 14
Member
1747 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Cut out the extra stuff (bubbles and crap) and focus on the big things first. If you get around to small details that usually mean nothing to anyone but you, you get around to it. If you don’t , you don’t. 

A wedding planner to handle the big bookings like limo would ease your mind. I say go for it if you can afford it.

Post # 16
Member
9888 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

You are stressing so much that it is making you sick.  You don’t want all the things that go along with a traditional wedding.  Your Fiance isn’t being of too much help.  Stop!  You need to step back from all of this and take a deep breath.  A wedding planner is not going to solve this for you, other than managing details.  A wedding planner cannot give you sanity.  It’s insane to keep pushing yourself until you get sick.  Your Fiance, if he loves you, would not want that!  Choose a couple of things that make you happy when you think of your wedding.  And focus on those things only.  Who says you need a limo and a bacherlorette party, necessarily?  If I were you, I would plan a spa day (not wedding related) or whatever makes you feel relaxed and pampered, and seriously chill out.  And have a conversation with yourself, as if you were helping your best friend through this situation.  Because you SHOULD BE your own best friend.  Nobody else can lower your stress level about this except YOU.  Best of luck . . .

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