(Closed) Please help! I hated my hair on my wedding day and I am OBSESSING over it!!

posted 9 years ago in Beauty
Post # 19
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@ajohnson24:  Remember boys say the wrong things at the wrong time all the time even dads so I would not sweat the comment and just take a deep breath because your hair looks great!

Post # 20
Member
6317 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@ajohnson24:  Are you sure you can’t just let this go?

I am a girly girl but I am having a hard time understanding how this still upsets you. The pics show you looked gorgeous. You married the guy you love. Weddings are about marriage… not about how your hair looked.

I am not trying to be snarky, but this really is a first world problem. Google some pictures of women who have been in accidents and are now disfigured. Read some news stories on how Hurricane Sandy affected people. When I am depressed about something pretty superficial (happens to me often), I try to put it into perspective. If this is your worst problem, you have a pretty damn good life.

What’s done is done. Try to focus on what went right in the wedding and how happy you were. Not your hair.

I agree w. daybyday. You’re obsessing about something you can’t change. You can’t go back.

Post # 21
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Well first of all, you look gorgeous. I’m jealous because you have the kind of face (perfect proportions) that looks great in an updo. I wasn’t thrilled about my hair because I kind of wanted to go more natural/organic and I felt it ended up more helmet-y than what I really wanted. But everyone thought I looked beautiful just as I’m sure everyone thought you looked beautiful, and you know what, you have to accept that they are right. It’s good for your mental health to believe the kind things that people think and say about you. 🙂 It’s not productive to second guess. Seriously, you are so beautiful.

Post # 23
Member
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@canarydiamond:  

This is a bit insensitive – this is a place to discuss wedding stuff afterall.

Anyways, I hated mine too. But when I look at my photos I just focus on my beautiful dress and how happy I was that day.

Post # 25
Member
6317 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Aug2012bride:  How am I being insensitive? I’m trying to help snap her back to reality. I spent some time trying to word my response as tactfully as possible. If she were my sister or best friend I would tell her the exact same thing.

I’m all for discussing wedding stuff, but I can’t help but wonder if she is bothered by something a lot deeper than not liking the way her hair looked six months ago. The wedding happened. She is married to the guy she loves… yet she is focusing on the way her hair looked. Why?

I really am not trying to be bitchy… I am trying the tough love approach.

I don’t see how doing another photoshoot will fix this. It actually boggles my mind how anyone would want to replace photos of the happy day they married their husband with photos from a shoot on a completely different day, six months later. Unless it’s done as a trash the dress session or something like that then I really don’t understand.

 

 

Post # 26
Member
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@canarydiamond:  while i think the fact that she’s been obsessing about hair (that looks great btw) she didn’t like enough to consider retaking her photos is kind of silly, it’s pretty ridiculous that you’re telling her to google pictures of accidents and hurricanes.  sure, it’s a first world problem, but so is almost everything that gets posted on these message boards.

Post # 27
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee

@ajohnson24:  I spent a good year obsessing about details (wish I would have done x, or had y, or changed z).  Going to weddings after my own did NOT help matters (it made them worse!!).  I will say, however, that it does get easier as time goes by.  You realize that you had to make the decisions you did and you tried the best you could do.  You were at the mercy of your hairdresser – it’s not like you had much control over that (after loving your trial – how could you know!!).  I’m sorry it wasn’t what you envisioned (you DO look amazing and I wouldn’t think twice about your hair as a stranger looking at your pictures!), but I also understand how to you it causes angst.  I remember feeling that way about many details (feeling stressed out about it – yet knowing that it was only an issue for/to me).  That said, it sounds like you are going to do another bridal shoot, which is great!  I’d also highly recommend getting professional shots of you and DH once a year or every other year.  It’s a great way to capture life together and will likely give you photos to cherish throughout your lifetime!

Post # 29
Member
3292 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@canarydiamond:  Yeah… this.

OP, be strong and try to let it go. All of us telling you you look gorgeous won’t help. You just have to move past it. 

Post # 30
Member
6317 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@li612:  I suggested that because it’s something that I do when I realize I am being completely silly about something. It makes me realize just how LUCKY I am. I go and read the news. It’s sobering.

Yes, I agree that in general most of what’s discussed here is first world problems, but this particular one just amazes me. I’m as spoiled and girly as they come… I am no martyr for sure… but if I posted something like this I would expect at least a few ‘suck it up princess’ responses.

If she posted that she ripped her dress, her family got into a huge fight, the officiant didn’t show up, the power went off, a baby started crying in the middle of the ceremony etc. then I’d have more sympathy. She looked beautiful… that’s all I can say.

Anyway, I think I’ve said enough on this thread.

I was not trying to be rude, I was trying the tough love approach. If it’s not wanted, then fine.

 

Post # 31
Member
6317 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@ajohnson24:  You’ve probably heard this before, but now that you’ve said a bit more, would it help to talk to a therapist about this? Not just the wedding but bigger picture.

My family makes plenty of snarky remarks to me and I have had to learn how to deal with them. If I didn’t, I’d always be in tears. So I agree that it is indeed something deeper that is bugging you.

Just try as much as you can to focus on the happy wedding memories you have.

I’m working on growing a thicker skin… it’s hard sometimes.

 

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