(Closed) PLEASE help. I need guidance..desperately.

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Whoa! I’m so sorry you have to deal with a person like that! Based on your interactions with her, do you think she would make a scene at the wedding? I think you should send this to your mother and ask what she thinks. Maybe you mom could talk to your cousin’s mom and calm her the f down? How close are you to the crazy cousin’s siblings? If not very close, and if your mom is ok with it, I would not invite them. If you do have to invite them…sit that family right next to the bathroom!!

Post # 33
2522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012


When I read messages like that…I always imagine the person so drunk that they’re pissing on themselves.

I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I’d snippity snip cut her out!

Post # 34
7368 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Univte her. Cut her off. I don’ have time for bullshit, when life is hard enough.

Post # 35
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

There is nothing wrong with going to school full-time — but I’m sure your illiterate cousin can’t see that. She’s jealous. End of story. Cut her off.



Post # 36
2536 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Your cousin doesn’t know how to use a period. Feel free to ignore her unless you want to buy her a book which will help her spell and learn some grammar. After all, she’s 40, so she should know that kind of thing.

Post # 37
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I have to agree with the PP when they say that is a horrible message.  This is really a grown woman?  I’m not saying you made it up at all, but it’s so hard to believe that someone of that age would actually type something like that. What a nutcase!

I just wanted to say that I wouldn’t invite any of them. If you invite this woman’s siblings, I would be worried that she would decide to invite herself as a date or just show up.  It isn’t like they wouldn’t tell her where the wedding is.  I would either invite all of them or none of them (inviting none of them is your best option).  That way you can be sure that they won’t pop in and try to ruin your day.   

Also, delete this woman from Facebook, block her from being able to send you messages and don’t have any contact with her at all except maybe cordial hellos at family gatherings.  She needs to realize that she has no right to speak or email you in that manner and you don’t need to take it.  I hope it gets better.

Post # 38
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Definitely uninvite her. I’m not inviting my aunt – my mom’s brother’s wife – because she is an ass to everyone in our family and I really really dislike her. There is no reason you should invite someone you clearly don’t like no matter WHO they are. Especially not on your “special day.” Dear God, if she wants you to take her seriously she might try using SPELLCHECK once in awhile. Gaaah. People like that drive me NUTS.

Post # 39
7172 posts
Busy Beekeeper

This may be a silly question, but do you want a relationship anymore with your cousin?  If not:  I’d respond back saying:  

“I’m sorry you have such a low opinion of me.  Because we only wish to celebrate with those who are supportive of our union, it’s best you didn’t come.  I hope you understand.”

Then, I’d block her email so you don’t have to see any further toxic rants from her.

I actually think all that lack of punctuation was her being so angry.  Whether justified or not, it’s up to you if you want a relationship with her.  Since you already sent her an invitation (and it sounds like from what she wrote in the beginning she’d want to come) you can either leave things be (and have her show up) or send a note like I wrote above.

As for her brothers/sister’s –  it’s up to them if they come – but they obviously feel you aren’t as friendly with them (is there any truth to that?  do you just not like them and/or go out of your way to say hello or talk to them)?  People sometimes see what they want to see vs. the truth of your intentions.  

Sorry this is all so upsetting, but assuming you are done with her toxic behavior, in the long run, you are doing yourself a favor by distancing yourself from the drama.


Post # 40
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012


You deserve a peaceful, happy day, and so does your Fiance. She seems like she will either start a load of drama at the wedding, or the anxiety of her being there will ruin it for you. Un..in…viiiiiite.

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