(Closed) Please help! I want to hear from pregnant ladies and moms (1 yr of planning)

posted 5 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
1439 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I haven’t had a baby yet, but preparing like that sounds like a great idea. You sound like you’ll be a great mom!

Post # 4
Member
7908 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

As soon as we found out we were pregnant, I got the Mayo Clinic book and then Bringing up Bebe. I highly recommend them. What to Expect is really alarmist, so the Mayo Clinic book is much better, but for the most part, it’s focused on what’s happening while you are pregnant.

I’ve got to say… there’s really no way to prepare fully, but researching helps of course. There’s just so much that you have to deal with as it happens, and I’ve heard this only gets more true once you have the baby. You can read all you want about how to make baby sleep or what’s the best way to make baby eat, but your baby might not care one bit how he or she is supposed to do those things.

We’ve also been reading a ton online about cloth diapering. I bought a book that a bunch of people recomended, but it was really lame.

Post # 5
Member
1477 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I worked with kids for several years, and all of my co-workers helped prepare me before I got pregnant. They’re all older than me and have families of their own.

I’d also recommend ‘Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy’ and ‘Belly Laughs.’ They are both funny and real. The Mayo Guide is great for reference and detailed information. 

I haven’t had my baby yet, but I’ve also been on the bee a lot to get more ideas with how to prepare. I just saw a post the other day about freezing meals before the baby is born. Brilliant idea, that no books or people talked about.

Post # 6
Member
5148 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

There’s not tons you can do that would be on a “to-do” list. (I’m impatient and I like to be in control of things. TTC & pregnancy definitly challenged those things! You don’t have much control, Mother Nature does.)

Some things may be helpful though:

  • Make sure you like your OB. If not, look for a new one. (I changed doctors at the beginning of my pregnancy. My 6-week appointment was with my old doctor, my 12 week appointment with my new doctor. Change sooner rather than later, the doctor/clinic I switched to said they wouldn’t accept new patients if they had more than 2 visits to a different OB during their current pregnancy.)
  • Make sure your OB has privledges at the hospital you want to deliver at. If not, you’ll have to choose between delivering at a different hospital and changing doctors.
  • Read some books on pregnancy, childbirth, and babies.
  • If you have pets, work on their training. Even though my dogs were pretty well trained, I took a “Dogs & Storks” class which covered how dogs interact with baby and handle not being the center of attention anymore.
  • Look at your finances and work on a budget.

Post # 8
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would recommend the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility. 

Post # 9
Member
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

To prepare your body, if you don’t already have a fitness regimin, maybe look into starting something that you could continue into pregnancy: aqua aerobics, walking, yoga, light strength training.  Things that will help you develop muscle, improve flexibility, and are low-impact.  This will help with your energy level during pregnancy, overall mood, theoretically makes delivery easier, and helps your body rebound more quickly after birth.  Also, make sure you’re doing your kegels!

Financially, start to think about what you want to do regarding breast-feeding vs formula, disposables vs cloth diapers, child care vs stay at home, hand me downs vs new items.  These decisions will impact what you’re going to need money-wise during the first year and beyond.  Look into the cost of child care in your area; I know for me, that was a huge shock that I wasn’t prepared for financially.  If you can create a savings account and drop a couple hundred bucks in each month, that will be a huge help!

Also, look at your insurance coverage and make sure it’s up to par.  It’s much easier to find/fix gaps in coverage now.  Also, identify how much out-of-pocket you’ll be looking at spending for delivery/copays/etc and add that in to the amount you’ll need to have saved.

Post # 10
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Physical Prep:

I second finding a workout that you like now and getting into it before you get preggers. Also, finding recipes that are easy, healthy and which you enjoy would be a great thing to do – if you’re like most pregnant ladies you’ll be exhausted at some point and having a go-to easy healthy meal will help you avoid making poor diet choices. Not to mention the weeks/months after bebe arrives!

I was going to a barre class for about seven months before I got pregnant and am so glad I did it – having that core strength and confidence in the workout has made it much easier to keep working out, albeit at a lower intensity. Being fit will also help with delivery and recovery after birth, yay!

Books:

I also loved “Bringing up Bebe” as it resonated with many of my personal ideals of parenting.

A hugely helpful book I read was “The Birth Partner” by Peny Simpkin. My DH also really liked the information in there. It helps you prepare for what to expect during labor and make choices with your partner and doctor about what kind of experience you would like to have. I also prepares you and your partner to advocate for yourself in the hospital…which can be needed even with the best docs and nurses! She’s written a few other books and they were nice as well, if you like to read, but Birth Partner is my #1. I still find myself going to re-read parts of it as due date approaches.

Finances:

We didn’t set up a savings account, but we have had lots of conversations about career planning (DH might want to do a startup tech company down the road, do I want to work after baby) and areas where we could cut back quickly (eating out, dry cleaning, travel, etc.) so we can start college funds and absorb baby costs.

Random other stuff:

Make sure your relationship with your partner is solid! If there’s something that is a problem for you guys now, it will not get better when you get pregnant and have a baby. Work on fixing communication issues, any disagreements about parenting or lifestyle, and any other areas that you struggle with so you are both solid and can be there for each other during the stresses of parenthood 🙂 Don’t expect people to change just because you have a baby, if your MIL interferes now she’ll probably still do that with the baby too, be ready to set and enforce boundaries…that kind of thing. Not that life should be smiley all the time, everyone argues and has bad days, but major problems are no good for anyone, especially little ones. Do what you can now to deal with them so you can put your energy into enjoying the ride!

Post # 11
Member
3645 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

So I am no where close to having a baby but love to read this sort of advice about things (wedding, household running, schooling etc). Thus I am replying so that I can subscribe to this thread.

Oooh: work out which school you’d like your children to go to and see if they have a waiting list. My SO was put on the list for his High school the very day he was born. Depending on where you want to send them you might have to do this. May as well figure out which school now! (Even if you might move it can’t hurt to have an idea). 

Post # 12
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Start taking pre natal vitamins as soon as you want to start trying. Make sure it has folic acid in it. Folic acid is important for VERY early development. My daughter was born with a sacral dimple (she’s fine, turned out just to be a cosmetic issue, but it was scary that there may have been an issue with her nerves/spine) and it’s because i didn’t have enough folic acid in my diet when she was developing in her first few weeks.

good luck! 🙂

 

Post # 13
Member
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would say have some perspective on what you would like….

OB vs. Midwife – make sure that you like who you choose

Pre-natal vitamins – It is good if you start taking them now. You never know what can happen in the next year (baby might come earlier than you plan)

Hospital vs. home birth – OB’s and midwifes usually like to stick to a certain hospital so you might have to pick a certain OB or MW depending on if you are adement on the hospital you would like to deliver at.

What hospitals are covered under insurance.  Find out what hospital you have the best coverage (my sister was fully covered at the hudson hospital but not the one that she lived closest to but I cant remember the name of the hospital)

Most importantly.  Enjoy your year with just the two of you.  Don’t take any of your relaxation time for granted.  I love being mom more than anything else in the world.  But as soon as you have the baby your life it completely different and you don’t get much time for you.  Enjoy it while you have it. 

Post # 14
Member
1777 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I am working on a similar bucket list.  Some of the things on it:

figure out insurance/OB/hospital to deliver at (my FP does my annual exam)

disability insurance

work on strengthening marriage (no real issues, just want it to be even better to withstand all baby stress)

dental checkup

few things that will be much harder once we have a baby (half marathon, travel, tc.)

reading books to deal with my biggest concerns with having kids

Post # 15
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2005

I just gave birth and I have to say, you can make all of the plans you want but you must be willing and able to realize they can/probably will be broken.  I read the book Pregnancy Sucks, first because it’s informative, but mostly because I like to have humor in my life and the author that wrote it was VERY good at injecting humor into serious information.  What I can suggest and would highly recommend is to take as much time as possible for yourself, once you get too big to comfortably move about or deliver, you won’t have any ‘you’ time.  If you have a partner sharing in this experience, take time to have a Baby Moon, basically like a honeymoon before the baby.   There are some things you need to do and I think some people have already listed some of them so I may repeat:

See a dentist to get your teeth cleaned,  (remarkably diseases in the mouth can have an affect on your fetus, to the point that you can miscarry.)

Find an OB/hospital/Midwife that you are comfortable with.  (I chose one that would not only take care of the baby inside of me, but also will take care of her as she grows, my doctor is also an OB/GYN so it’s a three-for-one)

Make a birthplan (Decide if you want an epidural, C-Section, or how you want to deliver but realize that it’s all a crapshoot, the most important thing is that the baby is healthy)

Find out what your insurance requires or your work requires in regards to FMLA  (It depends on the job, if you have one, but some insurances have Motherhood Plans available to expectant mothers, some of which will give you a list of requirements to fullfill and then will pay the hospital fee for you once you complete it)

I can NOT stress this enough…Do Kegal exercises  (Lets face it, your vagina is gonna be a mess after you give birth, Kegal exercises not only help the incontinence before the birth…oh the joys of pregnancy….but also helps to speed up the healing process after it)

Prep your body as much as possible to make the transitions easier (whether it be pregnancy yoga, walking, swimming, Kegal, or just eating healthier, your body is going to go through amazing and sometimes frightening changes.  You will be sore, you may have back problems, your feet may swell, and you may get sick.  Your main goal during all of this is to take care of you and the lil bundle of happy-joy that is growing.)

Relax. (Do as much as you can to take it easy but make sure you get up and move around, you don’t want to get stiff…and lord help you when the nesting phase comes in.) 

Pre-Natal vitamins (Always, always, always, talk to your doctor before you start any medicine/vitamin suppliments, however prenatals are as important as eating the right foods.  Talk to your doctor about what you should eat or take)

XD good luck to you and most importantly…have fun!

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