(Closed) Please help… I’m a mess… Wedding in 5 weeks

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@aueander:  Can you guys at least get some counseling to talk some of your issues out? It might determine if they can be worked out or not.

Post # 4
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

What does PG mean?

Why did he take the ring off your finger?  (To me, that sounds like he wants to end the engagement but that contradicts him refusing to postpone so I’m confused).  What types of things are you fighting about?

Post # 5
Member
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Have you considered counseling to hash out your issues in a more neutral environment? I definitely don’t think that you should get married if you’re not 100% committed. You two have a lot of issues to work out before jumping into marriage. It seems strange to me that he would try to take your ring off (which would absolutely NEVER be okay with me) but then say that you have to get married “now or never”. Are you sure you’re both on the same page?

Post # 6
Member
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@kay01:  I’m assuming pregnant.

Post # 7
Member
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I would suggest counciling and perhaps pushing the wedding back. If he doesn’t want to take time to work on your relationship before walking down the isle why would he work at if after?

so sorry:(

Post # 8
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I don’t want to make light of your situation, but could it just be cold feet? Would speaking to a professional be an option? It isn’t fair that you should feel this way, this should be a wonderful and beautiful time in your life. You shouldn’t have to walk down the aisle feeling like this. Is this something that has happened in the past, and you just need time to deal with it? Or do you feel that this is something that bothers you about him now, and it is ongoing? Is it something that can be related to stresses of getting married? Or is it something that has been ever present? I’m just trying to get you to think if it has been recent behavior, or something that is part of his personality?

Post # 9
Member
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

imalittlebirdie  “If he doesn’t want to take time to work on your relationship before walking down the aisle why would he work at if after?” That exactly.

Post # 11
Member
927 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yikes. Sorry you are going through this. I would postpone the wedding. Don’t feel bad that the invitations have been sent out. You need to do what you feel is right. It is better to figure things out now than to go ahead with the wedding when you are so unsure. Thinking of you and we’re here to talk ((hugs))

Post # 12
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@UpstateCait:  That was my first thought, but I wasn’t sure.

I don’t know how to ask this delicately, but if that is the case – was this a planned pregnacy?  How do you each feel about it?  And (apologies again for digging into personal areas) was the engagement at all related to the pregnancy? 

Post # 14
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@aueander:  Weddings are super stressful. Preparing to have a child is super stressful. Both of these things are life changing and can be scary. I can only imagine the strain it puts on a relationship to try to do both at the same time.

Could you guys try talking about neither for a day and do something you actually enjoy and would be relaxing? Maybe everyone is just on edge.

Post # 15
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think pregnancy can be stressful, particularly unplanned ones.  (Gesh, my guy stresses about it and I’m NOT pregnant nor are we trying.)  It sounds like he’s rushing into things in order to meet certain expectations.

Would moving out for a few days to clear your head/allow you both to reflect help the situation?

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