(Closed) Please help me, I need your advice.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: What should i do!
    I wouldnt go to her wedding if i was you. : (6 votes)
    11 %
    SHE SUCKS..GET OVER IT! : (25 votes)
    46 %
    Yor 100% right for being upset but... : (23 votes)
    43 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    12973 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I’d go to the wedding, even if you do have a bitter taste in your mouth.  Luckily the weddings aren’t completely back to back, and I don’t think people will accuse you of copying her (even though she copied you).  Be the bigger person and go, to support your FI’s friend at the very least.

    Plus, I bet you look better in the dress anyway 🙂

    Post # 4
    Member
    3626 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I wouldn’t go to the wedding because it sounds like it will only upset you. This post is a little confusing because you never really state what she did to upset you though….

    Post # 5
    Member
    5657 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2012

    Well that is a pretty sh*tty thing for her to do if she really legitimately copied you exactly on purpose, but I think you need to focus on what is really important here! You are FINALLY getting married to the love of your life afting a 10 year long relationship! Try to not let her childishness bother you and DEFINITELY do not sink to her level by being petty back!

    Post # 6
    Member
    218 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Man that’s totally messed up, I’d be ticked. Guess you shouldn’t have shown her she would have never been able to find everything you have on her own without seeing yours. Anyway to late for that. You have to go to the wedding because your Fiance is in it and you need to be there with him. I hate to say this but can you sell your dress and find a new one to make a point to her? The bridesmaid thing I guess you are stuck with if they already have their dresses? This totally sucks I am so bummed for you!

    Post # 7
    Member
    146 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Firstly…congrats on your upcoming wedding!  We are date twins!

    Secondly…you have to remember that even if she copies you down to the very last detail you are still different people and your weddings will not be identical.  She could have all the same things and her wedding will still be lightyears different than yours! 

    She sounds like a really immature woman with confidence issues, I wouldn’t take this for more than what it is- a women trying to copy your “perfect day”. 

    I would skip her wedding if it bothers you that much, not worth the emotional stress and she is no friend of yours lol  

    Post # 9
    Member
    2965 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Honestly Im in a similar situation with my brother and his fiance’. I NEVER tell her any of my details. My fiance’ and I have been 2gether 4 yrs and have been engaged since Sept 2010, before I even knew this girl exsisted. I have been wanting my wedding in this garden in the town where I live since I was 15!!!!!!!!! All my friends and family know this. Guess what she stole? Yes, and also similar to your situation they are getting married before me and fiance are. So I’ve had to change the venue, and guess what else she TRIED to take? My song I planned on walking down the aisle to. EVERYONE knows that is my favorite song so it was no surprise 2 them. When she told me what she was thinking about walking down the aisle to I spoke up. I do think it is distastful of her to steal your dress. I mean there are a million and one other dresses out there to choose from. I’m not trying to say that there isn’t going to be someone else in the world that’s not going to wear your dress, however, being that close to home should NOT be happening. I would say do whatever you feel like at the time. Me personally, I would not attend, and I don’t think it would matter much to her if you were there or not. For one, she obviously does not take how you feel into consideration. You DONT have to be there just because Fiance is there. But that decision is up to you. Just know sweetie you aren’t the only one in this situation. Good luck!

    Post # 11
    Member
    778 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I’m really sorry. It was awful of her to do that. But honestly, you’d be surprised how many people won’t even notice that it’s the same dress. Moreover, if she’s this petty/insecure/drama-seeking, by the time your wedding comes around all of your mutual friends/acquaintances will know it. It won’t reflect on you at all. Rushing to the altar + immature, spiteful behavior does not bode well for a successful marriage. I’d bet they’ll already be split up or headed that way by August, which should provide much more interesting fodder for rumors/comments than the dress.

    Post # 12
    Member
    784 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    You are so in the right to be upset. Personally, even though it’s wrong, I would go to the wedding, but I would change up my wedding if I were you. I would get a different dress and would change the bridesmaid’s colors if at all possible. If it’s not, don’t worry. It’s out of your control and you’re just doing yourself more harm by stressing out about it. Your wedding will still be unique to you. Also, if you have one thing on your side, it’ll be time =) Hopefully, the attendees of her wedding that also go to yours won’t remember all her little details.

    Post # 13
    Member
    7694 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I’m sorry, But-your wedding will be different. You will look different in your dress, even if she does wear the same one.  You will have different accessories.  2 of my cousins got married the same summer and wore the same dress-(not on purpose) but-only the mom of the 2nd bride and her mom noticed-no one else did!  Look how many women on here choose the same dress-and how different (and beautiful) they all look!  At the end of the day, you will be married to the one you love!

    Post # 14
    Member
    12 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I think you should go to the wedding and hold your head up high, if your Fiance is going to the wedding and all your friends you don’t want to look like the party pooper and show her that she’s upset you, or feel left out when they’re talking about it. Also, I doubt she’ll pull together a wedding like yours in just a month, even if she has copied everything, she won’t be able to execute it to the same standard or give the same attention to detail, to the extent that people will not even register that the weddings are similar. People will also be too busy bitching abotu how shotgun the wedding is to really appreciate in anyway!

    Post # 16
    Member
    2638 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2006

    What a BITCH. Ugh. I’d be so mad. That said, I’d still go to the wedding. And get really trashed and just ruin the whole reception.

    LOL. Just kidding. I think you have every right to be mad, but I’d still go. No sense burning bridges before they’re built (even though that’s kinda what she did).

    The topic ‘Please help me, I need your advice.’ is closed to new replies.

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