Post # 1
I’m not sure how to even describe my wedding planing experience so far. I’m so ready for it to be over with. I have compromised on EVERYTHING. I gave up my dream date so the groom’s out-of-towners could attend, my colors (someone in his family already had a wedding in my colors), the venue (too expensive for it being so last minute), my florist (also too expensive), and just found out I lost my DREAM photographer.
I know it sounds petty, but I REALLY wanted the photographer. She’s so talented and knows how to shoot plus size women really well and at wonderful angles. I just wanted to be able to go back later and look at the pictures and really love them.
Let me clarify one thing- I NEVER have acted like a brat or a “Bridezilla”! I’ve sat back and kept a sweet smile on my face while our wedding has been mutilated! I’ve been so nice to everyone and now it’s coming back on me.
Members of his family are now acting lke bullies and threatening to cause a scene if I don’t do exactly what they want. They are also emotionally blackmailing the groom, and trying to stop the wedding and break us up! Anytime I say something, I turn into “the bad guy” thats being rude to the family and keeping the groom away. (which I would NEVER do!)
Then I have a bridesmaid who is pregnant and strangely avoiding me! I’m really freaked because I just bought her dress (for her to pay me back for) and now I can’t get a hold of her. What am I supposed to do? Take it back? (my 30 days are almost up, and I could REALLY use the money). I don’t want her to hate me.
How am I supposed to handle this? I’ve already been to the hospital once for a panic attack. They told me to lay off stress and that my heart-rate was really fast because of the stress and emotional toll.
Please, anyone with advice (please nothing useless like “just calm down”. I need someone who can give me advice on how to deal with his family, finish planning my wedding, dealing with bridesmaids, or related)
Post # 3
Set your plans and goals with your Fiance and let him deal with his family.
Find out if your preferred vendors have a recommendation for people in their field that will be great and within your budget.
Give bridesmaid heads up (you have 10days before I take the dress back…) and follow through.
Post # 4
Oh you poor thing. We wanted to try and plan a wedding quicker than originally thought and had similar issues (about the photographer, etc).
I think it’s important to let your networks of family and friends know how you are feeling so they can put the feelers out there and see if they know of a photographer you might like, a venue you might not have thought of, etc… like those wedding shows where the planners come in and sort out the issues for the bride!
Perfect Pallette (the website) might be helpful for the colour scheme and finding ideas that work for you.
Approach his family with lines about how you understand how much they want to help, but you are really feeling the pressure and if they could help with (small task to distract them) that would be so helpful and you would SO appreciate it.
I guess feeling happy and satisfied are the most important things because the last thing you want to be thinking at the wedding is ‘thank god this is almost over’.
Good luck love!
Post # 6
I doubt this is going to make you feel better but it may help ward off future upsets. Going forward, I would avoid setting your heart on DREAM vendors and ideas until you have all the information. I have a dream venue too that costs about $450 per head so as you can imagine, a bit out of budget 😉 but that’s nothing to be disappointed about. The venue that’s currently at the top of my list probably won’t let me do the dream string light design I wanted but that’s okay. Honestly, there are so many beautiful choices out there for decor, you’ll like something else. I think verbalizing your desires to yourself in such an extreme way isn’t going to be helpful. As for your photographer, why did you lose her? How could his family possibly have anything to say about that??
As for his family being negative and unsupportive, that’s something you have to talk to him about. I’ve found that weddings bring up a lot of attitudes and behaviors that can impact you down the road. Better to sort this all out with him now.
I feel you, though. We had some major conflicts about the date and I still haven’t managed to book a venue but I know once the big stuff is done, it’ll settle down a bit. Good luck!!
Post # 7
judging from the date her wedding was a few days ago…
Post # 8
@weddingdaydreamer: I hope you had a lovely wedding nevertheless…
I hope you were a happy and beautiful bride that you are. XOXO best wishes!!!
Post # 9
@traveller: LOL, true! I never look at that
Post # 10
@nushka: 😀 I have done that a few times before too….